1. Kingsman: The Golden Circle; A+
Kingsman: The Secret Service was my numero uno movie of 2015, so I went in with pretty sizable expectations for the sequel. From the opening salvo, director Matthew Vaughn gives us even more balls-to-the-walls action and mayhem than he did in the first installment. I didn't go to a Kingsman flick to see them pull punches, and bruv does it deliver. On top of the incredible action and topical plot, The Golden Circle movie has a ton of heart.
Taron Egerton made his acting debut with the first Kingsman and returns with just as much (if not somehow more) gusto and suave than he did in round one. Colin Firth is brought back because why the hell not (in the trailers so not a spoiler) and new additions are aplenty. None stand out more and are utilized more than the fantastic Pedro Pascal. Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges and Halle Berry are surprisingly filler and saved for the trilogy conclusion, but it's not enough to redact from a movie that delivers in every imaginable way.
Julianne Moore is sadistic and very human as the villainous Poppy Adams and Edward Holcroft seamlessly steps into the henchman role, replacing the dearly departed Sofia Boutella.
The franchise continues its epic music formula, trading "Free Bird" for some Prince, and KC and the Sunshine Band for some Boss Hoss. Furthermore, composers Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson deliver another winning score, only adding to the number one case of The Golden Circle.
2. The Greatest Showman; A+
My final viewing of the year (it actually came on January 1st because I couldn't convince any friends to see a musical with me) was worthy of finishing a strong 2017 list. I'd badly wanted to see this movie since peeping the preview prior to Kingsman in September. After hearing "This Is Me," I was already counting down the days 'til I could see Keala Settle sing it in full.
Though his 249 Wolverine appearances in 245 different X-Men timelines have made Hugh Jackman a Hollywood star, it's his roots in theater that got him started. As the smug but exceptionally charming P.T. Barnum, Jackman is in peak form and reminds me why he is one of my very favorite actors/human beings.
Just as great is co-star Zac Efron (these roles are for him! Not Baywatch or god forbid Bad Grandpa.) Seeing him sing and dance like he does in Showman brought back middle school memories of High School Musical, which was why I joined choir at Renner Middle School. Until my high school choir teacher told me to give it up. :(.
Jackman, Efron, Settle and the rest of the colorful cast are all magnificent as both actors and performers, including Zendaya, who is far more useful than she'd be in Spider-Man.
The great music, which has been relentlessly stuck in my head and has winning tracks from top to bottom (seriously, there isn't a weak link), is a Barnum-sized top hat on top of a fantastic movie that is inspiring, uplifting and makes you really love the world for a little over two hours.
3. Spider-Man: Homecoming; A+
Thanks to mixed receptions to the two Amazing Spider-Man films, studio combustion and most importantly the Sony hack scandal, Marvel was able to regain their number one superhero. Before Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans made Iron Man and Captain America household names, Spider-Man was the Marvel poster child.
With a Spider-Man film comes great expectations. While I will always claim Tobey Maguire as my number one Spidey and liked Andrew Garfield's interpretation, Tom Holland absolutely knocked it out of the park. Using his cutesy baby face and a gymnastics background, you're constantly glued to him on screen. Why are Brits -like Holland and Garfield- such perfect New Yorkers? The rising star Holland is exceptional.
I wouldn't mind seeing less of his high school posse of Ned, Liz and Michelle, but there is full commitment to young Peter after previous installments blitzed through high school. Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes/Vulture is sensational. A many villains are tossed around in this movie, but don't need their own plot, merely hinting at more to come rather than bogging down the story.
Also of note, the criminal overexposure of trailers (especially concerning plot points) inspired me to cut back how much pre-movie reading and media viewing I do. So thanks for that, Sony marketing team.
4. War for the Planet of the Apes; A+
What happened here? Movie's fortunes these days seem to be based on one thing above all else: the internet AKA that beast social media. Rotten Tomatoes has changed the game and built a black and white world for viewers to see movies through. War received stellar reviews like its two predecessors and looked poised to build tremendously on the big box office of Dawn back in 2014.
While the movie hauled in a more than respectable $490 million, it stumbled to less than $200 million domestically and made $220 million less than the movie before it.
Similar to how stunning Kong looks in the upcoming Kong: Skull Island, the apes in WftPotA look unbelievable. It is literally hard to believe how good they look. Andy Serkis rounds out Caesar's trilogy with triumph and one of the most under-appreciated trilogies of the franchise era seems to have indeed somehow gone overlooked this year. Not by me.
Additionally, Michael Giacchino continued his remarkable calendar year. He finished a year that included awesome scores for Star Trek Beyond (July '16), Doctor Strange (November '16), Rogue One (December '16), Spider-Man: Homecoming (July) and War For the Planet of the Apes (the very next week). One of the tracks is called "Planet of the Escapes," how great is that? And why didn't Disney let him use his trademark puns on the Rogue One disc? Questions, questions.
5. John Wick: Chapter 2; A+
2014's John Wick was a big surprise. Keanu Reeves was considered well past his prime and it looked like a potential Taken ripoff What we got was more dynamic action than any Taken or pretty much most action movies of recent memory. An R rating provides some brutal deaths - and there are a lot of them.
In Chapter 2, the story is a little less personal (it's super super personal in the first episode) but it's still full of really, really impressive fighting and shooting and killing. Rarely is action this beautifully choreographed and it makes all the relentless action far more meaningful. Once again, there's actual heart and substance to Wick's story and the universe already has building blocks in place that every studio is looking for these days.
6. Thor: Ragnarok; A+
Everything about Thor and his (dark?) world changed going into Ragnarok. The end of all things should provide that indeed. Leading man Chris Hemsworth wanted to change things up and steer away from the straight arrow of Thor's past. Hemsworth is a gifted comedic actor and teaming up with director Taika Waititi (What We Do in the Shadows, A+ in 2014) became a match made in Valhalla.
With a new creative roster, Ragnarok has little to do with Ragnarok. The logo change prior to production is indicative of the radical tonal shift, and it's initially jarring for fans of the first two Thor pictures. The changes work, though, thanks to the players involved, and this new Thor is still a very worthy Thor.
7. Get Out; A+
I love Jordan Peele. As a young white male who watched Key & Peele, I thought it was the funniest damn show in the world. So I was really up for Peele's directorial debut and boy did he deliver. Get Out is one of those few movies that you really want to see more than twice because you're still having "oh sh*t" moments in the third viewing. The movie is such a sophisticated and intellectual commentary on real issues but all the while remembers that it's a movie. It's also genre bending and perfectly places its usage of comedy, horror and scares.
8. The Disaster Artist; A+
Based on the somehow created 2003 movie The Room (which is worth watching for its lunacy), James Franco plays that movie's architect Tommy Wiseau to absolute perfection. He's almost better at being Tommy Wiseau than Tommy Wiseau. It's a legitimate laugh out loud movie that has you asking the question you should be: what the **** is The Room?!?!
9. Kong: Skull Island; A+
Off the heels of the decent Godzilla in 2014, Warner Bros. is attempting to build a "MonsterVerse." I've always preferred King Kong to the giant lizard because I love monkeys (i.e. apes), and while both are actually sympathetic, lovable city-killers, Kong is a sweetie pie.
Skull Island really had no business being any good. I wasn't expecting a whole lot but exited the theater absolutely blown away by the thrill ride of it. The character beats are mostly hit (John C. Reily, Samuel L. Jackson) and rarely miss, all the while feeding a coherent story in a movie about a giant monkey on a planet consisting of ancient mega-beasts.
Of all the movies I saw this year, what makes Kong stand out and earn such a high ranking is the spectacle. Kong himself is created flawlessly with stunning CGI and his first appearance on screen sets the tone for one helluva movie.
10. It; A+
The unofficial father (Jerry! Jerry!) of Netflix's Stranger Things -even borrowing one of the kids- Stephen King's It spent so many years in production hell that when it finally arrived in 2017, who knew how it would turn out? Well, it's a home run.
Pennywise is played perfectly from up-and-comer Bill Skarsgård, Son of Stellan, both fascinating to look at and terrifyingly likable. The Loser's Club are all winners as well. Casting is crucial when the heart of the film revolved around young boys and a girl, but each of the young actors are great in their own way. You want to love them and laugh with them and see them not get hideously murdered by the clown that you also love and laugh at. The end result is incredibly pleasing, both as a scary movie and a coming-of-age tale with a lot of funny, heartfelt moments.
11. Gifted; A+
I teared up a couple times this year in films. Kingsman brought me to tears, the Infinity War trailer prior to The Last Jedi brought me to tears and The Greatest Showman had that effect when Keala Settle belted out "This Is Me," but I wasn't quite balling in those movies like I was in Gifted. Maybe it's my historically deep soft spot for Chris Evans but he, Jenny Slate, Octavia Spencer and young Mckenna Grace form a great team in this one.
12. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; A+
The first Guardians of the Galaxy was obviously a surprise. It was supposed to be the first failure from Marvel Studios. Taking Marvel Comic's "D Team" and turning it into a blockbuster film? Surrrrrrrre. That movie was an insanely fun space adventure with a stellar cast and extremely likable characters. Volume two should have been great.
And it was! I gave it a very high A+ grade after all. Compared to any other film, it's a masterpiece of fun, special effects and thrills. However, it's a step back from Marvel in terms of storytelling, character development, plot pacing and the usual jokey wit from the studio is in overdrive here.
Whether it's Rocket's winking jokes, Drax's turd quips or his torturing of Mantis, Gamora and Nebula engaging in a scream off or Kurt Russell's Ego giving exposition on end for what seemed like the movie's entire middle act, this one didn't have the same magic. With that said, it's still pretty magical. And without this movie I never would have experienced the Inferno!
13. Wonder; A+
On paper, Wonder, a story about a 10-year old born with a facial defect entering the world, could have been sappy. Heck, all feel-good movies run that risk. And even though there are some moments in Wonder where you feel like you're forced to feel, you end up feeling all the same. Watch with tissues. And enjoy the Star Wars references.
13. Wonder; A+
On paper, Wonder, a story about a 10-year old born with a facial defect entering the world, could have been sappy. Heck, all feel-good movies run that risk. And even though there are some moments in Wonder where you feel like you're forced to feel, you end up feeling all the same. Watch with tissues. And enjoy the Star Wars references.
14. Patriots Day; A+
I'm always tepid to historical or fact based movies because I'm more likely to want to absorb that information on a page rather than the big screen. Alas, Patriots Day was another fantastic Mark Wahlberg-Peter Berg team-up. Lone Survivor and Deepwater Horizon were also great and Pats Day (affectionally shortened) is so very gripping.
Based on the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013, the story is beautifully constructed, following different characters as we lead up to the tragic moment and the following manhunt. It leaves you breathless and you leave the theater contemplative but also feeling triumphant because like David Ortiz said, "this is our f*cking city!"
15. Wind River; A+
Taylor Sheridan (who wrote the absolutely magnificent Sicario and Hell or High Water ) shifts to the director’s chair and continues to bat 1.000. Starring MCU best buddies Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), Wind River is extremely gripping in handling the real life issue of not just murder but sexual abuse.
A movie that puts you on the edge of your chair in tension has accomplished something special. Sheridan has now done that in back-to-back-to-back outings and I can’t wait to see what he does next.
16. Logan Lucky; A+
In the words of Colin Firth's Harry Hart in Kingsman: The Secret Service, "I'll take a farfetched, theatrical plot any day of the week." Logan Lucky, the first great film this year involving a Logan, is explicitly outrageous in the execution of its driving story: the robbery of the Charlotte Motor Speedway.
But in the stead of any potential head-scratchers, the movie thrives (as most good movies do) with its cast. Channing Tatum and Adam Driver are addictive as hillbilly brothers down on their luck. Daniel Craig trades his lucrative James Bond digs for an escaping inmate and fellow hillbilly himself. The movie -like Kingsman: The Golden Circle- also breaks you down in the feels with John Denver's “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”
17. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; A+
Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell and Jeff Bridges are worthy of their Oscar praise. Rockwell has become one of my favorite actors between this, The Way, Way, Back and smaller roles in Iron Man 2 and Cowboys & Aliens. Then there’s the Lebowski himself. Murder mysteries tend to be extremely compelling, with Three Billboards no exception. I like unhappy endings.
18. The Belko Experiment; A+
James Gunn attached as writer didn't hurt credibility and as a fan of the horror genre, especially when it covers the "utter mayhem" subgenre, I was definitely in on Belko. The film doesn't try to be smarter than it is but does pose the question about the ultimate human trait of survival. When an office in the middle of nowhere is shut down and the last one standing can walk out, it gets chaotic. Chaotic doesn't even cut it. The Joker would be proud as the clown prince agent of chaos. I had a ton of fun just taking this one all in.
19. American Made; A
Doug Liman and Tom Cruise formed quite the pair in 2014 with The Edge of Tomorrow, and teamed up again three years later. A movie can play around too much with its facts, and that's apparently what happened with American Made. But that's why it says "based on a true story" and the true story here about pilot turned-CIA drug runner Barry Seal is almost too unbelievable. But so was the government corruption of the 1970s and 80s that generously propelled us to where we are today.
20. Logan; A
It took 17 years but we finally got a great Wolverine movie. The 2013 one wasn’t bad (A- in 2013) and while Origins in 2009 had redeemable moments, it took almost two decades for Fox to give it's golden X-Men goose a proper solo outing.
James Mangold goes full independent vibe after studio interference directing the 2013 version and it's a welcome change in a superhero film. A brutal R rating as well fits the character like a glove. He's got metal claws after all. However, the profanity and needless nude scene are a bit gratuitous and the film is 20 minutes too long.
21. I, Tonya; A
The dramatized biopic starring Margot Robbie is a stellar performance. I’m not sure how affected I am by Sebastian Stan co-starring. No, it’s not just him, this is actually a great movie with an equally great soundtrack.
22. Baby Driver; A
This movie is a lot of fun and I'm a big fan of Edgar Wright. While Peyton Reed totally rocked Ant-Man, there's always that "what if?" regarding Wright and Ant-Man, which he was attached to for over a decade. (Also, did you know it was his idea to move the Nick Fury scene in Iron Man from the middle to the end of the credits? Epic.)
Anyway, Baby Driver has a great soundtrack and a sentimental protagonist. I could do without so much Jamie Foxx brutishness and it's hard to appreciate Kevin Spacey right now amidst some disgusting allegations, but the movie itself is a lot of fun and very original up until the final moments.
23. Wonder Woman; A
The only critically accepted DCEU movie to date of five. I really, really liked Wonder Woman. However, I didn't see it as a superhero gam-changer like the rest of the world. It dragged quite a bit in the middle and as beautiful as Gal Gadot is, I'm not overly invested in her portrayal of Diana. The climactic fight sequence makes the rest of the humble, gritty film feel like a different one. CGI overload and a lecture from Diana about how much humans stink bog down a third act. (No matter how much I may agree.) She also is pretty much invisible in the succeeding Justice League. It's almost like adding three major characters to three that have only had one movie of mediocre development (Superman had two I guess) was a bad idea.
But seriously, Hans Zimmer's Wonder Woman theme is just so good. I love Hans Zimmer. Rupert Gregson-Williams picks up where Zimmer left off for the solo outing to rousing results.
24. Detroit; A
Frustratingly relevant and crafted with anger befitting events that only happen because people...are people. Director Kathryn Bigelow continues to tackle heavy material after The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty (A+ in 2012), and while Detroit may lack the focus of her previous outings, it hits just the same.
25. Happy Death Day; A
Another murder mystery! This one of a very different ilk. Trade in the drama for scares but Happy Death Day isn't the horror that many expected it to be and is more about solving the mystery at hand. It's worth figuring out and the Groundhog Day theme to dying over and over is extremely clever and well executed. (Heh, executed.)
26. Murder on the Orient Express; A-
Fans and critics alike didn't seem to get on board the Orient, but at the same time they didn't hate it. They just didn't really like it. But I did! Maybe it's my stubborn affection for Director/Star Kenneth Branagh, who really makes or breaks this movie with his dominant presence, but I really dug the murder mystery.
A star studded cast doesn't really do a whole lot and I admit I had no prior knowledge of the bestselling Agatha Christie novel, but I quite enjoyed the ride on the Orient Express.
27. The Death of Stalin; A-
Intentionally ludicrous and purposefully whimsy, The Death of Stalin plays out like a (good) Saturday Night Live skit stretched out over 100 minutes. It stars comedy geniuses Steve Buscemi and Jeffrey Tambor, features the versatile Jason Isaacs and has a scene-stealing performance from Simon Russell Beale. It's political ineptitude wrapped in comedy and it's a good time.
28. Good Time; A-
Speaking of.
Speaking of.
A retroactive viewing as I embarked on my Robert Pattinson homework as he prepares to play the Batman in The Batman (I hope they change that title; subtitles are in), I was really into Good Time. It's extremely people-focused with Pattinson's muggy character at the center, and the realism of it reminds you of the world's dark corners where people do crazy things to get by.
29. Call Me By Your Name; B+
I'm still unsure to this day how much I really liked Call Me By Your Name. It's perfectly acted, especially by the unbelievably charismatic semi-newcomer Timothee Chalamet, and the story hits you in the gut. There's not really a story as much as it's just a humanitarian (fairy)tale. Also must give big credit to the underrated and brilliant Michael Stuhlbarg.
29. Call Me By Your Name; B+
I'm still unsure to this day how much I really liked Call Me By Your Name. It's perfectly acted, especially by the unbelievably charismatic semi-newcomer Timothee Chalamet, and the story hits you in the gut. There's not really a story as much as it's just a humanitarian (fairy)tale. Also must give big credit to the underrated and brilliant Michael Stuhlbarg.
30. Annabelle: Creation; B+
At times, I found myself rolling my eyes at the acting of the young girls in this movie. But they are young girls after all. It's just a tad annoying. But the movie itself is great and another excellent chapter in The Conjuring universe. Worth noting I was genuinely scared by the previous Annabelle incarnation, which wasn't well received. I'm all in on the James Wan horror-verse.
31. The Florida Project; B+
Discovered incidentally via The Disaster Artist blu-ray previews, I was titillated by the humanity of it. Also a huge admirer of Willem Dafoe, who is the star of The Florida Project alongside some stellar young actor performances. Not really a structured story, but the acting is great and people really do have it this bad in the real world.
32. I Am Heath Ledger; B+
This one was hard to rank because it's a documentary that I saw in theaters. It wasn't a wide release but a Fathom Events production. Ledger's Joker is one of my favorite and one of the greatest cinematic characters ever ever ever and I found his real life story tragic and worth learning more about.
The movie is obviously insightful but the film treads over a lot of the same story and, at least for me, was often less about Ledger and more about his social circle.
33. A Cure For Wellness; B
I was expecting a little more from this one, but was nonetheless very pleased. I really liked Dane Dehaan in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 as Harry Osborn. Harry shouldn't have been in that already crowded movie but Dehaan gave the character a damn strong emotional core. I really felt for him in TAMS2 film while most found him bratty and dismissive.
Anyway, Wellness was a great outing for Dehaan. The story is an A+ grade on paper as the rich prodigy Dane plays goes to inspect his missing boss at a health center. What follows is some crazy sh*t, a lot of it which stretches a bit too far. Jason Isaacs is once again fantastic.
34. The Lego Batman Movie; B
A very solid movie. My expectation bar was set perhaps too high after the (kind of) out-of-nowhere brilliance of The Lego Movie. The small pieces of Batman lore in the 2014 film promised a hilarious and meta 2017 one. The references to all sorts of Batman movies, TV shows and comics are worth the price of admission but I was frequently reminded that even as a pretty immature 23-year old, this is indeed a movie targeted directly at kids.
35. My Friend Dahmer; B
The scariest thing about My Friend Dahmer is that it's a true story. Not just about future killer Jeffrey Dahmer, but the fact that he was a super weird kid with an even weirder mom, who endured absolute hell from high school classmates. The scariest part? This happens every day in real life and nothing is really done about it.
The scariest thing about My Friend Dahmer is that it's a true story. Not just about future killer Jeffrey Dahmer, but the fact that he was a super weird kid with an even weirder mom, who endured absolute hell from high school classmates. The scariest part? This happens every day in real life and nothing is really done about it.
36. Breathe; B-
The directorial debut from motion capture master Andy Serkis (Caesar, Gollum, Snoke, Klaue) tells the remarkable true story of Robin Cavendish. A polio victim in the late 50s, it’s an emotionally resonant film about somebody in a truly distressful situation finding a reason to live for the ones around you, then finding out you want to live for yourself. It's slow, but Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy are on their A game.
37. The Killing of a Sacred Deer; B-
The suspense is intended to kill you and a sacred deer, whatever that means. I assume it means a precious child. This movie is super strange. Without great acting performers from industry titans Colin Farrell and Nicole Kidman, it may not have worked. It still kind of doesn't.
38. Darkest Hour; B-
Gary Oldman is captivating and possesses hauntingly pinpoint accuracy as Winston Churchill and the movie does a better job of telling the tale of the events around Dunkirk than Dunkirk (see below). It doesn't hide its goal to be a history lesson, which is educational but not always the most fun.
39. Power Rangers; C+
When I was an actual kid, I had many entertainment obsessions. The Land Before Time, the Spider-Man animated series, Lion King and Tarzan, but none provided the kind of dress up potential as the Power Rangers. Finally on the big screen in an era of adaptations, 2017's Power Rangers was a decent movie but I won't pretend it's anything more.
It's slow moving and there's not a lot of screen time in costume due to the inevitable franchise-building-itis, which makes the final showdown against Elizabeth Banks' demented Rita very underwhelming. Composer Brian Tyler delivers a winning version of the classic Power Rangers theme, though.
40. Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House; C+
Produced by Tom Hanks, who tackled Watergate himself a year later in The Post (B+ in 2018), this is the infamous story told from the perspective of Felt, AKA "Deep Throat." It's not as packed with detail as, say All the President's Men, but I found learning from the perspective of the conflicted FBI lifer very interesting. Plus Liam Neeson.
Produced by Tom Hanks, who tackled Watergate himself a year later in The Post (B+ in 2018), this is the infamous story told from the perspective of Felt, AKA "Deep Throat." It's not as packed with detail as, say All the President's Men, but I found learning from the perspective of the conflicted FBI lifer very interesting. Plus Liam Neeson.
41. Justice League Dark; C+
DC’s animated movie universe continues to grow and Justice League Dark tackles some lesser-known members in a different mystical corner of the Justice League. It is heavy on magic and anchored by the British charm of John Constantine, but to the surprise of nobody, Batman crashes the party.
42. Justice League; C+
Another DC movie, another critical lashing. Outside of Wonder Woman, DC movies have been torn apart by reviewers. However, the box office hasn't felt any of the damage until Justice League. DC tries really hard to wipe away the misfire of Batman V Superman and give us a pure popcorn flick and, well, succeeds there I guess?
Originally the first of two parts, the sequel has been all but scrapped. The future of the DCEU is cloudier than a dark night, but at least they had some fun with the famous DC Comics superheroes before it was over. It's just too much in too little time. I thought Batman v Superman was decent, but the writing was on the wall when the Justice League characters were introduced via hacked footage on Wonder Woman's laptop.
43. Borg vs. McEnroe; C
I like to play tennis, but watching it doesn't enthrall me. The direction of the tennis action in Borg vs. McEnroe, of which there is little, didn't really hook me. The movie is mostly about the human struggles of its titular characters, with a focus on Borg that isn't always that interesting.
44. Dunkirk; C
Boy, did those trailers make your blood run cold. The movie, unfortunately, could put you to sleep. Few movies are as well acted and aesthetically stunning as Dunkirk. Unfortunately, it's a bore. It really is. There are as many intimate moments in the movie as their are in the trailers, the rest of the movie a lot of dialogue with the actual events at Dunkirk serving as background.
45. Atomic Blonde; C
David Leitch has certainly found an ass-kicking niche. He co-directed the first John Wick, was an advisor on the second and is at the helm of the Deadpool sequel due this year. In the meantime, he gave us Atomic Blonde. As much I as I love Wick, Blonde doesn't have the same kind of interesting or congruent story.
The kick@$$ combat Leitch has given those movies above -he even aided the Russo brothers with the opening fight scene in Captain America: Civil War between Cap and villain Crossbones- is certainly present with Charlize Theron in Atomic Blonde, but I seriously had no idea what was going on. Maybe I'm stupid (sans maybe), but trying to follow the seemingly endless spy agency angles in this movie was numbing. Try “Miss Atomic Bomb” by The Killers instead.
46. What Happened to Monday; C-
I'm all about population control and movies that address this, and WHTM boasts some really neat visuals of a 2070-ish world. It's an exciting premise and visually it hits, but the story gets gradually less interesting and the writing more careless as it goes until it goes from potentially something to think about to silly sci-fi.
47. Life; C-I'm all about population control and movies that address this, and WHTM boasts some really neat visuals of a 2070-ish world. It's an exciting premise and visually it hits, but the story gets gradually less interesting and the writing more careless as it goes until it goes from potentially something to think about to silly sci-fi.
There's nothing original about Life and it makes no effort to conceal it's Alien-inspired intentions. There's nothing interesting about the characters and/or subplots but the alien antagonist itself is rendered extremely well and salvages a pretty standard operation.
48. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; C-
Born out of the theme park ride, Disney’s behemoth franchise started to dip with the third entry (“At World’s End.” Number four (“On Stranger Tides”) was an improvement, but a fresh start was needed. With “Dead Men Tell No Tales,” new cast members were introduced, but the best performances are not from them. Series veterans Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush are the redeeming qualities in episode V.
49. Battle of the Sexes; D+
The real-life events of Billie Jean King and her battles on and off the tennis court is a fascinating story, but not a fascinating watch, even with Emma Stone's portrayal.
50. Molly’s Game; D+
I like Jessica Chastain. But there was so much narration here from her that the movie forced me into despising the sound of her voice. Also, this movie is supposedly about Tobey Maguire and WE WILL NOT HAVE IT.
51. The House; D+
Comedies are dime a dozen. There's eventually a movie like The Disaster Artist that is genuinely funny and some that just completely suck like two more to come on this list. The House is closer to the latter but managed to be funny enough in moments to justify a D+ grade.
52. Split; D
As someone who suffers from mental illness, I was curious to see what the enigmatic M. Night Shyamalan would bring to the table. Somewhere along the way, this went from a movie serious about its content to a generic horror attempt. (James McAvoy's back-to-back appearances on this list are simply coincidence.)
53. Ghost in the Shell; D
Based on the uber popular anime, Ghost in The Shell manages to be even more confusing than Atomic Blonde, even more incoherent than Valerian and is easily the most sexist motion picture of the year.
54. Berlin Syndrome; D
Some movies start slow and then ramp up to the finish. This one initially intrigues and then gets so very boring. Even with a great Teresa Palmer performance, the Berlin "syndrome" is a whole lot of head-scratching.
55. Star Wars: The Last Jedi; D-
I wrote about The Last Jedi here. I really can't say much more because that is a Hutt's mouthful. One of the most disappointing experiences of my life.
56. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; D-
Oh, dear. My best friend Jake fell asleep in this one. Like out like a light. I was really hopeful about the Luc Besson vehicle. A french comic adaptation, Besson broke the bank to deliver a CGI spectacle. It is indeed one but it also has some of the worst acting (Dane Dehaan is dreadful here and Cara Delevingne is in peak Suicide Squad form) and story points of any movie. If it won a Razzie I wouldn't defend it.
57. Hostiles; D-
A good or bad script usually makes a movie, despite/in spite of the movie's cast and production value. Hostiles has the latter two, especially in a leading performance by Christian Bale, but the script is the most hostile thing about this film.
58. Gerald’s Game; D-
I’m a fan of Bruce Greenwood, but seeing him get kinky in his undergarments was…different. The premise in this Netflix original from Mike Flanagan (Oculus in 2014 and Hush in 2016) is promising, but the one setting movie literally goes nowhere.
59. Fences; D-
I'm not a play guy. I've seen one in my life by choice and it was for a school project. I figured with it adapting to cinema —and featuring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis— they would spruce it up a bit. But nobody ever yells "scene!" in a play.
60. Batman and Harley Quinn; D-
A lot of the animated DC library is great, but a frustrating many are becoming forgettable. This ill-fated attempt to combine serious material (strip bars) and childish gags (tickle fights…after uncharacteristic spontaneous sex) is a new low for DC’s animated film universe that has gotten less reliable in recent years.
61. Why Him?; D-
James Franco and Bryan Cranston as dueling father and son-in-law? Count me in. The movie opens with a Netflix and chill joke and from there it doesn't get better. KISS appears at the end but, like, why? (Get it?) Thankfully Franco and Cranston also teamed up for redemption in The Disaster Artist.
62. The Mummy; D-
I was really bored on a June afternoon and despite the unsightly reviews (including a dreadful user score) I went for it. The Mummy was intended to kick off Universal's "Dark Universe" but drove it so hard into the ground that by November the entire thing was canned.
Splurging on a large popcorn, I chanced an action flick. It had its cooler moments in that regard but this is the bad version of Tom Cruise (as opposed to say, Edge of Tomorrow) and I really shouldn't have given this movie the time of day.
63. Alien: Covenant; F
After loving Prometheus, I was intrigued about returning to the Alien narrative. Instead we get a horribly dull story and a movie that -kind of like Star Wars: The Last Jedi- feels completely disconnected from its predecessor.
64. Daddy’s Home 2; F
Or this one. The first Daddy's Home in 2015 was a pleasant surprise. I adore both Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg and was up for revisiting "The Other Guys." The sequel two years later was just dreadful across the board.
It tries to redeem itself at the end with some heartwarming Christmas moments but is embarrassingly corny and sappy and is just a terrible, terrible film. I should have known better to trust a project involving Mel Gibson.
65. It Comes at Night; F
The marketing for It Comes at Night was either fantastic or misleading. As a horror/thriller junkie, I bought in to the hype. But this movie is one of those independent psychological thrillers that I can't stand. Nothing happens at all but you're supposed to be having some sort of epic cerebral experience. Instead, I was reminded of how frustrated I was with the similar The Witch from 2016.
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