2025 CGI Fridays Rankings

*Tap Tap Tap* 

Is this thing on?

I guess I'm doing rankings for 2025. Are movies still a thing? What came out again? How long are previews? Thirty minutes! There's commercials now? Commercials in the previews? Nicole Kidman AGAIN?! When is this on streaming? Next week? Cool, then I won't spend $50 on two tickets, taxes, fees, and a flat soda. The $13 popcorn is cold. The person in front of me is texting. The people behind me are having a full conversation. Kids in the front are on their phones. The parents don't care. They dropped their tweens off at an R-rated movie so they could have three hours of peace and quiet. 

Nicole Kidman says heartbreak feels good in a place like this. Nothing feels good here. I'd ask the staff for help but nobody works here anymore except a 16-year old wearing AirPods and a guy on probation for stealing an air fryer. Plus, if I did ask for help, I'd miss the movie. Then I'm the fool! Why am I here again? Is there an end credits scene?  Oh wait, I don't care anymore. Thank god the previews are finally over. Aaaaaaand I have to go to the bathroom.

Anyway. Here's the 2025 list. I hope you find that heartbreak feels good in a blog post like this. If not, try a fart break. 

34. Primitive War;  D-

Dinosaur aficionados like myself -- I used to line up toy dinosaurs in my room as a kid and Land Before Time was my jam -- are clamoring for good movies about dinosaurs. The Jurassic franchise has gone the way of actual dinosaurs and 65 (D+ in 2023) was no good. Primitive War is worse.

33. The Lost Bus; D-

The first scenes of this movie roll through the tropiest of tropes: Single father, down on his luck, can't get hours at work for a job he doesn't like, forced to take care of his sick mom and his son who hates him (he literally yells this at him) who also gets sick... By the time I tried to figure out if some of the horrible acting was actually AI, the movie lost me before the bus.

32. Black Phone 2; D

Scott Derrickson (Doctor Strange, Sinister, Deliver Us From Evil) is on this list back-to-back and not for good reasons. Black Phone is a sequel to his 2022 box office (B-) hit that left me calling for more. This one goes completely out of service and skates on thin black ice. It did not answer the call.

31. The Gorge; D+

"Straight-to-streaming" has gone from exception to norm, but the quality of movies that skip over theaters is still lacking. Then again, the quality of movies that go to theaters isn't good either. Neither is The Gorge.

30. The Life of Chuck; C-

The idea of Life of Chuck is neat. The end of the world approaches but the mundane continues from day to day. If that mundane was a little less mundane, the movie wouldn't have gotten such a mundane score.

29. Marty Supreme; C-

The first 45 minutes of Marty Supreme is really good. The next hour and a half has nothing to do with ping pong, instead shifting frantically from one thing to another. One minute it's about romance, then crime, then the mob, then a dog, then ping pong for a minute, then the dog is back. This movie is out of control, just like the director's previous outing, Uncut Gems (D in 2019), which I did not like. Also the ping pong ball CGI was distracting. 

28. Superman (2025); C-

James Gunn's Superman didn't look promising. Superman is notoriously difficult to write given his kitchen's sink set of super powers. Richard Donner got the balance right. Zack Snyder went too dark, and Gunn goes too light. 

This version of Superman -- and the world around him -- is so goofy, so inconsequential, so... boring. Gunn throws a million new characters at the screen in an ensemble effort meant to recreate his Guardians of the Galaxy films. The tone doesn't fit and capable leading actor David Corenswet feels like a prisoner in his own movie. Especially in the scene where he's literally a prisoner in his own movie. Only to be rescued by a Lois Lane who doesn't like him very much and Mr. Terrific, who is one of the few likable characters in this mess.

The disconnect between Corenswet and Gunn is real, as shown in this behind-the-scenes "argument." It's a soulless film that lacks heart, lacks heroism, and is not worth remembering. 

For more, read my Superman (2025) review on the DC page HERE at #56. 

27. 28 Years Later; C

The original 28 Days Later is one of the greatest zombie flicks ever, coming in at #393 on my CGI Fridays Infinity List. I also enjoyed the sequel, 28 Weeks Later. 28 Years Later arrives 23 years after the original, and it's yet another modern zombie movie that doesn't have enough zombies. Human drama works if it's interesting. It doesn't when it isn't. And that ending...

26. The Conjuring: Last Rites; C

What's one of the scariest things for a movie franchise? Diminishing returns. Welcome to the club, Conjuring. Looking at just the flagship titles, we've gone from A+ (2013, Infinity #125) to A+ (2016, Infinity #265) to B+ in 2021. At least this one has some funny scenes, but that was certainly not the intention.

25. The Phoenician Scheme; C+

If Wes Anderson made a movie about Benicio Del Toro just doing his taxes, I would watch it. And I'd give it a C+. Thank you Phoenicio. 

24. Echo Valley; C+

If murder mysteries are all the rage, then Sydney Sweeney is the rage. My friend Brian saw Julianne Moore on a plane once, so I really like her too. I was intrigued with this one, and I used to live in a valley, but logic is lost by the end of this.

23. Captain America: Brave New World; B-

Relatively speaking, 2025 was a "comeback" year for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I wrote at length about Brave New World over on my MCU page (see: #36), and not much more needs to be said. I really don't have much more to say. In fact, the less I say about the MCU at this point, the better. It hurts my heart to talk about current Marvel. It's like watching a precious child grow up with the world at their fingertips... and then lose it all, go broke, live in a bad neighborhood, and break your heart into a million pieces.

22. The Long Walk; B-

Stephen King loves his nihilism, and honestly, I'm here for it. The story is fine, the message is fine, the production is very fine, but man, when did it become the norm to make unlikeable characters immature hot heads with a potty mouth that puts some of my middle school students to shame? It's annoying. Stop it.

21. Warfare; B-

Ranking Warfare was tough because it is an incredibly thrilling war movie. But it's day-in-the-life scope limits its narrative reach and I'd rather watch a movie with more of a story.

20. Frankenstein (2025); B

I was feeling quite alive with the newest (re)incarnation of this immortal franchise. Then... I wasn't. The momentum, pacing, story, and my interest were killed just as the monster himself was coming to life. There's too much nothing. Not all movies need to be two and a half hours long. By the end, I was the zombie. 

19. Thunderbolts and/or New Avengers; B

I wrote the following in my ThunderVengers review, found here at #31.

Simply put, it's an underwhelming cast of characters. B-listers at best except maybe Bucky, who has been written into that tier by writers that don't know what to do with him. It's a B plot with B-listers that gets a B. Can you B-lieve it?

18. Weapons; B

Weapons entered the year as one of my most anticipated movies. I found director Zach Cregger's previous film, Barbarian (C in 2022), a fascinating but frustrating work of art. Cregger once again manipulates time to tell his story, using multiple perspectives in the vein of Pulp Fiction. It's such a promising premise that Jordan Peele fired a bunch of people for not getting him the script. The end result is disappointing, a sum that falls so far short of its parts.

17. The Fantastic Four: First Steps; B

Was the third time the charm for the Fantastic Four? Naturally, the fourth time should be the charm. And while this rendition is obviously better than the 2015 version -- which I created the grade F- for -- I still prefer the 2005 original if I had to choose from the lot.

This one has good intentions and yet another spiffy soundtrack from composer Michael Giacchino, but it has a high dosage of stupid in its plot and Pedro Pascal is not a reliable leading man as Reed Richards. Most of the rest works and we'll see the Fantastic Four again in 2026 for Avengers: Doomsday. Yay...

16. The Running Man (2025); B

I found 2025's The Running Man to be exactly what I had expected: stupid fun. Sure, I would have liked more, but I was happy to not get less. The plot is paper thin, the acting is passable, the twists are ridiculous, the action is fun, and there's a whole lot of running.

15. Song Sung Blue; B

Hugh Jackman's latest musical isn't a musical. It's a movie about music. Sort of. It's more of a family drama that, while compelling, is not the greatest show I thought I was tuning in for.

14. Better Man; B+

Speaking of great shows, Michael Gracey helmed my all-time favorite musical, The Greatest Showman (A+, #31 Infinity) back in 2017. Better Man is a biopic about Robbie Williams, an unknown to Americans like myself. The music isn't as familiar to me but the story and choreography are impressive. As is the CGI, because Gracey and Williams decided to portray the lead as a monkey, a reflection of his poor self-perception and the nature of a "dancing monkey" in show business.

13. F1: The Movie; B+

F1 is unabashedly an advertisement for Formula 1 Racing. They even use real footage and clips from F1 races. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm not any more interested in the sport since watching the movie, but I do have a newfound appreciation for it. I also appreciate one of last standing movie stars, Brad Pitt, elevating a by-the-numbers script into a very watchable character drama. Why is it two and a half hours long, though?

12. Black Bag; B+

A straightforward whodunit thriller elevated by the underrated Michael Fassbender and Cate Blanchett combo. Steven Soderbergh's deft directing and fast-paced script -- and hey look Pierce Brosnan! -- add up for a smooth, silky spy adventure.

11. Happy Gilmore 2; A-

The OG Happy Gilmore sits at #209 on the Infinity List, one of many Adam Sandler collectibles in my all-time rankings. Still - nobody asked for this. The movie's plot gave as much effort as you'd expect from a Sandler Netflix exclusive, but I have to say... it works. Maybe it's my Sandman-tinted glasses, but there are a whole lot of laughs, and you know what, it's nice to laugh.

10. Nuremberg; A-

The Nuremberg Trials are a fascinating and important moment in war history. A radical legal attempt to atone for the post-war sins of the Treaty of Versailles. The idea of whether these Nazi war criminals deserve to stand trial is explored well. However, the trial itself is a huge letdown. 

The cast is an enigma, with standout performances from Michael Shannon, John Slattery, Richard E. Grant, and Leo Woodall. Then there's an over-the-top, take-it-or-leave-it Russell Crowe and a completely out of place Rami Malek.

9. Companion; A-

Companion follows in the creepy footsteps of movies like Morgan (A- in 2016) and M3gan (A- in 2023). The pretty girl robot genre is in high demand, and it never seems to end well. The twist is blatantly spoiled in the trailer, which was an interesting move, but nothing stays a secret these days anyway. Companion gets real dumb by the end but stays real fun.

8. Drop; A-

Drop was one of the first movies to get me back to a theater in 2025. (At least I think I saw it in a theater?) A 90 minute movie without any intent but to entertain audiences felt like a nice throwback to the 1990s and 2000s.

7. Clown in a Cornfield; A-

Can you guess what this one is about? So there's a clown. And he stalks people in a cornfield. I know, right! There's certainly a little more to it, but you're not seeing this for the plot. It has some great scares and kills and if you're into that, I recommend it. 

6. Sinners; A-

The tremendous trio of director Ryan Coogler, star Michael B. Jordan, and composer Ludwig Göransson has fought the fight (Fruitvale Station), won the battle (Creed) and saved the world (Black Panther). Now, they go back in time to basically make From Dusk Till Dawn in the Jim Crow era. It's a fun vampire movie, a well-crafted period piece, a half-hearted political commentary, and an absolute showcase for Jordan's talent.

MBJ delivers a dynamite dual role as two twin brother leads, and the movie rests dependently on his shoulders. He is one of the best actors of this generation and I expect him to win the Best Actor award at the Oscars. If anyone is still watching, let me know when he wins. He's come a long way since Fan4stic (only ever F- in 2015).

5. Bring Her Back; A

The Australian Phillippou brothers are quickly becoming the go-to names in a waning scary movie industry. Their previous entry, 2023's Talk to Me (A), was fantastic and only falls short of an A+ due to not quite sticking the ending. The same thing happens here, but the journey to the end is not just scary, it's extremely compelling, well written, has great characters, and some incredible scenes that are impossible to look away from.

4. Final Destination: Bloodlines; A

Speaking of scenes you can't take your eyes off of, there are many a moment in the, let's see now, sixth installment of the Final Destination franchise that you know a gruesome, ridiculous death is coming. You know you want to close your eyes and maybe sneak a peak. Instead, you're eyes wide open watching with glee as someone meets some outrageous, cartoonish fate.

No Final Destination movie had ever cracked its way into my "Infinity List," as I'm not the biggest fan of the slasher genre, but there is just so much fun and whimsy in Bloodlines - something severely lacking in modern cinema - that I couldn't help but enjoy the heck out of it. 

3. Together; A

My only regret about Together is I saw it by myself. How nice would it be to watch two people being grotesquely forced together against their will with someone you care for beside you? Disturbing... or romantic? Real-life married couple Dave Franco and Alison Brie have great chemistry and in my opinion should stay married. Heck - make another awesome movie while you're at it!

The biggest question I got from friends who wanted to see this but were hesitant was how gory the body horror stuff was. Truthfully, most of it is hid from the audience and the CGI - while impressive - does most of the heavy lifting, as opposed to be a very disturbing practical effect shot like the one in Bring Her Back. The squeamish can take it. Together.

2. The Naked Gun; A

Are comedies back? There's a clear void in the market for good, raunchy, funny movies. Everyone everywhere is so sensitive about everything now and the cancel culture hive mind of social media has made it next to impossible to produce a funny movie with funny people doing funny things.

Perhaps we live in a post-joke world.

The dramatic swing to one side in the past decade seems to be leveling out a little. People are starting to believe in comedy again. Also, you can't cancel Liam Neeson. They tried. He doesn't care. Liam Neeson lives in a cave with wolves and reads under candlelight while snuggling with a makeup-free Pam Anderson. He doesn't care.

Rebooting The Naked Gun was a risky maneuver. The Leslie Nielsen trilogy is revered in movie history. Those films arrive on my "Infinity List" at #380, #476, and #541. The new one comes in at #413, showing that it has earned its place amongst its comedy titan ancestors, with many thanks to Neeson's dry wit and tender tenacitym as well as the direction of reliable funnyman and Lonely Island alum Akiva Schaffer, who has my full comedic trust with a resume including Hot Rod (A+, 98th all time) and Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (A in 2016).

1. Fackham Hall; A+

Out of left field (England), I only discovered Fackham Hall through some deep cut YouTube movie reviewers. Their referral to this movie is worth a lifetime subscription. I took one look at the poster and my Austin Powers "Spidey Senses" started tingling. I rolled with that fuzzy feeling, and was rewarded handsomely. Ah thank you.

Basically every single moment of this non-stop comedy is filled with a joke or a gag. It feels wonderfully reminiscent of a Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker (ZAZ), or Mel Brooks comedy of the 20th century. Sure, there's a love story, which is itself a big gag about corrupt, incestuous, old British royal families. Every beat has a purpose and no moment is wasted. It's constantly hilarious and I haven't laughed at a comedy like this in a long time.

I can see a lot of jokes going over the "normie's" (American's) heads. My favorite joke of the movie has to do with the Bechdel Test, and if you get that one, you're going to have a facking good time. 

0. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith ***20TH ANNIVERSARY RE-RELEASE***; ∞

What is there to say about literally my favorite movie of all time? 20 years ago, I saw Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith for the first time. With my best friend Jake. And I had my first frappuccino. 20 years later, we recreated the scene and enjoyed the movie back on the big screen.

There's nothing more to be said, but here's my review from my separate Star Wars page.

Best. Movie. Ever.

2024 CGI Fridays Rankings

2024 was the year I stopped going to the movies. Not completely, but for the better part of the 2010s, I was going to at least multiple movies a month, especially in the summer. In 2024, I went seven times.

There are many reasons 2024 saw my CGI Fridays total drop quicker than Christian Bale's weight in The Machinist. Less movies to choose from, quicker streaming releases, rising ticket and concession prices, horrible movie crowds... it wasn't just one reason, but an amalgamation of many factors turning me off of a thing I once loved... the cinema.

I wrote about exactly this topic in April 2023, and just like so many things in our wonderful world, it's just gotten so much worse since then.

But hey, here's a positive! By being so choosy and seeing less movies in 2024, I saw less bad movies! See, I found a positive. Everyone quit telling me I'm so negative!

Anyway, let's recap the shortest list I've ever had.

31. Spaceman; F

Adam Sandler movies hold a special place in my heart, and "Spaceman" is one of my favorite songs ever, but this movie is just a waste of time space.

30. Argylle; D-

Dear Matthew Vaughn, when can we expect Kingsman 3? Argylle is full of good actors and great ideas, but the final product is a joke, and not in a funny way.

29. Elevation; D

I avoided movies this year that looked like nothing burgers, but because of Anthony Mackie and director George Nolfi's partnership that produced The Adjustment Bureau (#481 on the Infinity List) and The Banker (A in 2020), I gave it a shot. And what was on the burger? Nothing.

28. Society of the Snow; D+

I wanted to like this movie because the acting is great and director J.A. Bayona previously dramatized a natural disaster so well with The Impossible (A+ in 2012), but it's too boring. More like Society of the Slow, am I right? Okay that's not funny.

27. Civil War; D+

A movie from Alex Garland about our broken society falling into Civil War Round 2? Conceptually, a home run. But this ain't that kind of movie, bruv. It's a road trip film about cynical photojournalists and it's not interesting.

26. Dune: Part Two; C-

The Dune movies are obviously cinematic beauties. You'd expect nothing less from director Denis Vellenueve. I gave the first movie a B, but I found the second slow, underwhelming, full of questionable character motivations, and didn't buy the ending. But my friend Brian watched it twice on back-to-back days, so which one of us is wrong?

25. A Quiet Place: Day One; C

The latest example of a franchise pooping out a prequel and this one doesn't compare to the flagship films -- A+ in 2018 in and A in 2021 -- and the most unbelievable part of this zombie apocalypse movie is a quiet cat. Meow. 

24. Kraven the Hunter; C+

I have to admit, I had some guilty fun with Kraven. Surely benefiting from low-to-no expectations, I didn't think this was as bad as, say, Venom: Let There Be Carnage (D+ in 2021) or Morbius (D in 2022). Still, it was enough to shut Sony's Spider-Man-Adjacent-Villain-Universe-That-Can't-Use-Or-Even-Say-The-Name-Of-Spider-Man down for good.

23. Oddity; B-

Scary movies dominated my 2024 list and I'm not sure that's a good thing. But is it a bad thing? There's a scary thought. Oddity... which one was that again... oh yeah, it was decent.

22. Immaculate; B-

You want me to admit I watched this for Sydney Sweeney? Because I won't. I watched it for the compelling mystery, production design, lighting and soundtrack.

21. The Bikeriders; B-

Not a spin-off of this line from Captain America: Civil War and not really my type of movie, but Tom Hardy Tom Hardy's his butt off.

20. Rebel Ridge; B

The movie with "Rebel" in the title that I was willing to see. Definitely not this one.

19. Am I Racist?; B

A mockumentary about DEI that sometimes drifts a bit too far into the right lane, it's still a bunch of good laughs and it's gotten very hard to find good comedy the last several years.

18. Alien: Romulus; B

Back to the roots of the franchise with a simple story and a lot of atmosphere, the scares are aplenty, most of the cast is solid, and the aliens deliver.

17. Sing Sing; B

An award-worthy movie for its message about prison reform and its dynamic performances from actual ex-cons, anchored by leading man Colman Domingo, who absolutely kills it. (I'll see myself out.)

16. Carry-On; B

A by-the-numbers, 80s/90s nostalgia hit that isn't afraid of ripping off movies like Die Hard (#294 all-time) orThe Negotiator (#514) and is fittingly carried by the likable performance of Taron Egerton.

15. Challengers; B+

The tennis scenes are a highlight, shot with dramatic and exciting precision. However, the movie made headlines for... other reasons. 

14. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes; B+

A franchise full of near-and-dear A+'s, I wasn't as enthusiastic about Kingdom as I was the originals or the 2010s trilogy. (The Tim Burton one doesn't count.) The story isn't very strong and the future doesn't seem to properly reflect what Caesar worked so hard for. I suppose "humans ruined everything" is an appropriate theme, but I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed by the narrative groundwork laid down by the previous films.

The effects work from WETA is still top notch and the photorealism of the apes has never looked better -- and it's always looked incredible. It's another technological jewel in the franchise, but doesn't come close to its predecessors with story.

13. Smile 2; B+

An ending that will either excite you for Smile 3 or pull you out of enjoying Smile 2, I think it's possible it accomplished both. Just like its happy predecessor (A in 2022), the ending is suspect, but the leading performance of Naomi Scott makes the sequel worth smiling for.

12. The Wild Robot; A-

It's been a while since an animated movie came along and charmed its audience. The Wild Robot is that movie and I highly recommend it, especially for kids who are growing up in a world without a lot of good stuff to see.

11. One Life; A-

A little-known movie about little-known Holocaust hero Nicholas Winton, who smuggled thousands of children out of Nazi-occupied Europe when much of the world (and their governments) did nothing until it was too late.

10. Juror #2; A-

As far as enjoyment, Juror #2 would be higher if it wasn't a logistical nightmare. I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on TV, but I smelled a mistrial quicker than my niece's dirty diaper. 

9. The Fall Guy; A-

I don't see how movie theaters can survive if movies like The Fall Guy can't even hit $100 million in the U.S. It's a fun ride for all types of audiences... that aren't showing up.

8. Heretic; A-

I'm naturally skeptical when it comes to religion and Heretic is an intelligent take on such a sensitive subject. It's a horror movie so things get rather unholy, but Hugh Grant's heel turn as a duplicitous lead is divine.

7. Late Night With the Devil; A-

It was rewarding to see perennial side character David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight, Ant-Man 1 & 2) in a leading role. He soaks up the screen as a desperate talk show host who turns to the dark arts to save his failing late night show.

6. Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story; A

There's a perpetual kindness that surrounds Christopher Reeve. His portrayal of Clark Kent and Superman in the original superhero blockbuster film stands the test of time. The sequel, Superman II (A+, currently ranked 60th), is one one of my favorite movies of all time. Reeve's story mirrors the dramatic ups and downs of the character he played and the documentary captures the moments in an emotional sendoff. 

5. Strange Darling; A

I totally dug the way Strange Darling told its story in non-sequential chapters. It preserves the twist and the movie thrives off its intimate cast and beautiful cinematography.

4. The Substance; A

The dual leading performances from Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley both deserve recognition. The message that Hollywood devalues aging stars is told in such a clear, creative, dramatic and entertaining way. The only reason it's not an A+ is the ending, or maybe I'm just bummed it ended.

3. Speak No Evil (2024); A

A remake of a Norwegian film made all the way back in... 2022 (A-)... I think the American Speak No Evil is a bit of an upgrade. It's a step up in terms of acting and production value, but not written as well as the foreign version. The international ending is better, but the American rendition has one big advantage: James McAvoy. 

2. Deadpool & Wolverine; A 

When I heard Hugh Jackman (arguably my favorite actor) was coming back to play Wolverine, I was surprisingly okay with it IF IT DOESN'T TOUCH LOGAN'S ENDING. They said they wouldn't, and like a fool I believed them. The movie even jokes about how difficult it would have been for Deadpool to leave that alone as he desecrates Logan's grave. Still, I was completely on board and so glad to be living through an MCU hit in 2024... and then the TVA showed up.

The TVA represent what went wrong with the MCU: the multi-verse. Deadpool & Wolverine wants to hate on the multi-verse, yet -- and probably at Disney's request -- the plot of the film revolves around everything the film wants to make fun of. It's fitting that a Deadpool film became of a parody of a parody in a parody about a franchise that's become a parody.

When it's Jackman and Ryan Reynolds, it works. Simple as that. When a plot that throws words around like "Anchor Beings" and "Nexus Events" tries to get off the ground, it doesn't. Think about it for more than a minute and it falls apart. As ridiculous as Deadpool 1 & 2 were, they were coherent from a storytelling perspective. This one isn't, but it has a Wolverine. (And a Hulk.)

Focus on the characters, the cameos, the nostalgia for the Fox Marvel Universe of all things, and it's an undeniably joyous time. 

1. Green Day: 20 Years of American Idiot; A+

Green Day is no stranger to documentaries, with hits like Bullet in a Bible and Heart Like a Hand Grenade, and it was no surprise to see a commemorative film celebrating 20 years of the greatest album in music history. (*Opinion alert!*)

It's another fun look into the decorated history of the band and it's biggest strength is some new footage related to American Idiot. However, it's a lot of stuff that's been seen before and the inclusion of a new interview adds very little to the overall product.

Despite not reaching the highs of previous Green Day documentaries, the mix of all-time hits and some new looks behind the curtain add up to the one and only A+ movie of 2024. 

2023 CGI Fridays Rankings

My 2022 recap ended with a simple request: Hopefully 2023 is better.

Spoiler alert: it wasn't.

Worse than the continued drop in quality across the cinematic board was the plain fact that I barely went to the actual cinema. My love of movies is on life support for several sad reasons, detailed in separate blog posts both HERE ("Why Do Movies Suck Now?) and HERE ("The Cinema Is Dead").

My movie total dropped to an all-time low, falling below the pandemic affected 50 in 2022. There was an actors strike, a writers strike, but the Texas Rangers finally got the last strike.

Here's the annual list. I hope you like some of these more than I did.

49. No One Will Save You; F

Cool alien, bro. But where's the rest of a movie?

48. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes; F

Frantic plot, chaotic editing, cringey singing and another previously successful franchise thrown on the scrap heap.

47. The Marvels; F

No matter how bad things have gotten, I've never given an F to a big screen MCU production. On the small screen, She-Hulk earned one, and now we have Marvel failure stretching to the silver screen.

46. Justice League: Warworld; D-

DC Animation has absolutely cratered after a really solid run from the 90s through the 2010s.

45. Infinity Pool; D-

Deserves an F for the ending, but avoids one for at least getting me to the finish line.

44. Shazam! Fury of the Gods; D-

For the first time in my adult life, I skipped superhero films this year. I should have skipped this one too.

43. When You Finish Saving the World; D

It attempts to be endearing and uplifting by the end, but is instead dreary and pointless.

42. American Fiction; D

Just too boring to make up for Jeffrey Wright and some thoughtful ideas. And even if it makes contextual sense, I can't stand to listen to the N word.

41. 65; D+

An original idea for a film, much less a sci-fi film, doesn't really happen anymore. 65 looks good on paper, but there's not a fully developed story to accompany this concept.

40. Leave the World Behind; D+

Post-apocalyptic movies are my jam and I like to think I'd last at least a day. This movie tries to mix the genre with terrorism, social commentary and general human terrible-ness. Or maybe I'm giving them too much credit because it's really about nothing.

39. A Man Called Otto; D+

A movie trying way too hard to make you feel good that you feel bad.

38. 97 Minutes; C-

A sort of fun throwback to a 90s action film with stock baddies that makes absolutely no sense.

37. The Killer; C-

David Fincher and Michael Fassbender had my full attention, but the only thing The Killer kills is time. (And sells some The Smiths records.)

36. The Pope's Exorcist; C-

Russell Crowe's storied has career is stumbling to the finish line. Apparently playing Zeus in Thor: Love and Thunder (B- in 2022) inspired him to take on the role of an Italian priest. To that I say, "perche?"

35. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; C

Ant-Man 3 had a lot stacked against it. A lot. Chief among them was finally introducing Thanos 2.0 - Kang The Conqueror. Yes, Marvel's newest overarching villain was going to be put on full display in an Ant-Man film. Quantumania is an insulting story that, in modern Disney fashion, constantly tears down its main protagonist despite him literally saving the universe. Marvel continues to trample on its hard-earned legacy and I don't know that there's a multiverse out there that can save it.

34. The Boys in the Boat; C

I didn't expect a movie about rowing to rock my boat, but promising source material and the historical backdrop of the Great Depression forced me test the waters. Unfortunately, it was shallow.

33. The Son; C

A slow people-focused feature that benefits from the indomitable Hugh Jackman and not much else.

32. The Flash; C

Like most people, I saw The Flash for Michael Keaton's Batman. I was both pleased that he had a sizable role but also sad that his return was for this. Even without the Ezra Miller controversy, this oft-delayed superhero headache is a exactly what this genre has worked hard not to be. It's ugly, bloated eye candy and so reliant on cameos to leave any sort of impact that it's no wonder the DCEU has died.

31. Rustin; C

Rustin has an interesting story about a lesser-known civil rights activist to work with. It doesn't do enough and isn't as engaging as it should be despite Colman Domingo delivering one of the best acting performances of the year.

30. Saltburn; C

I didn't really enjoy watching Saltburn but I enjoyed reflecting on it afterwards. It's a solid revenge tale but all the attention it garnered was for its shock value scenes, which are all shock but have no value to the story or the movie.

29. The Boogeyman; C+

The horror genre is on life support (what genre isn't?) so I guess I'll happily settle for some good scares.

28. To Catch a Killer; C+

Another genre that is very hit and very miss is the crime thriller. Unraveling the mystery here was relatively interesting, but the conclusion was unsatisfying.

27. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; C+

GOTG Vol. 3 is a relic from the MCU's past. At least in name. In terms of quality, it fits right into the current state of Marvel. A lot of people really liked this movie. I thought it was average. Rocket's backstory is used so desperately for emotional beats that the audience is practically being instructed to feel. Adam Warlock is a complete and unforgivable joke, and there's a whole side quest that serves absolutely no purpose except to be silly and colorful and weird and shoehorn Nathan Fillion into James Gunn's final Marvel project.

The Guardians trilogy is a pretty perfect way to sum up the MCU over the years. The first film (A+ in 2014) is a classic, the second (A+ in 2017) is lesser but still great, and the third ends with a whimper, highlighted by bad joke overload and a sloppy conclusion to Peter and Gamora's arc.

26. Murder Mystery 2; C+

The first Mystery (A+ in 2019) was worth solving and a laugh riot all the way through. The second starts with the same energy but by the end, you have a clear answer to whether this needed a sequel.

25. Super Mario Bros.; B-

Four years ago, 2019 had nine billion dollar movies. Only two hit the mark in 2023: Mario and Barbie. This is the one I saw and I thought it was... fine. It's a great kids movie with a simple plot, tons of nostalgia and the famous Super Mario Bros. music.

24. The Creator; B-

Director Gareth Edwards (sort of) helmed the crown jewel of the Disney Star Wars collection: Rogue One (A+ in 2016). He hadn't created anything since until The Creator. His penchant for visual effects is on full display, but the story here is weak with a weaker climax.

23. May December; B-

Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore give a master class in acting, but a movie that tries to positively portray a child abuser is a tough sell no matter the performances.

22. The Holdovers; B-

Paul Giamatti is one of my favorite actors and he certainly doesn't disappoint. All the pieces are there for this to be right up my alley: great acting, strong writing, heartwarming narrative. It's just too long and lacking focus to be garner a positive score.

21. John Wick: Chapter 4; B-

Speaking of too long, I've really had it with movies getting longer and longer. A John Wick film should be two hours MAX, which is exactly where I watched JW4 because I wasn't sitting through a three hour action exclusive ride at the theater. The first two Wick's (A+ in 2014, 2017) are in my CGI Fridays pantheon, but the last two have not come close.

20. Creed III; B

Another franchise that, sadly, I'm over. The Rocky franchise stalled after two for me and Creed has done the same. I can only watch so many boxing movies.

19. The Covenant; B

Even though I liked The Covenant, I'm not calling it Guy Ritchie's The Covenant. Has Guy Ritchie earned that? No! Did you go see Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer? No, you just saw Oppenheimer.

18. They Cloned Tyrone; B

A rare original science-fiction entry in a cinematic landscape of remakes and sequels. Would have been higher rated if not for the incessant use of the N word. Unnecessary and vulgar.

17. Godzilla Minus One; B

In 2014, I enjoyed Gareth Edwards' Godzilla (B+) reboot. Since then, America's Godzilla has embraced the chaotic looney tunes nature of the beast and lost its heart. With Japan's Minus One, the heart is back and this is the coolest version of Godzilla I've ever seen. The problem is he seldom shows up and the character drama, while well done, drags on and on and on.

16. Cocaine Bear; B

You know how you prepare for a movie like this? With Coke. A Coke Zero that is.

15. Dumb Money; B

Cool story and I'm glad I watched it at home so I could constantly pause and google financial jargon. But my god, what an insufferable soundtrack.

14. Pain Hustlers; B+

If you can't trust the pharmaceutical reps, who can you trust? Chris Evans, that's who.

13. Missing; B+

Told completely through computer, phone and other various cameras, it's a style that is super cool for a long time. Then it starts to get exhausting. Like a camera battery, the story runs out of juice at the end.

12. Reptile; B+

I like to fancy myself a scholar, but when I watch whodunit movies I'm usually the last to figure out the "who." That wasn't the case here. But despite its predictability, I enjoyed my viewing of Reptile.

11. Cobweb; B+

A couple of scary movies surprised their way into the upper tier of my 2023 ranks. Cobweb is successful in being weird and creating an uncomfortable, chilly atmosphere. Unfortunately, it gets a little too looney for its own good in the end.

10. The Iron Claw; A-

While I found the setup a tad slow, once Iron Claw has its characters introduced, it starts hitting... hard. There's nothing fake about the emotions this well directed film induces. The punches land in the ring but especially out of it, and Zac Efron continues to show his underrated talents (and muscles).

9. A Million Miles Away; A-

A lot of films try to tug on your heart strings to no avail, but this one made it work. Michael Pena and cast deliver a heartwarming story about space exploration but also shine a spotlight on the American Dream from an immigrant family's valuable perspective.

8. M3gan; A-

A film that looked like it could go either way ended up being a surprising hit. Artificial intelligence stories have never been more in vogue and even though M3gan threatens to go off the rails, it stays on a realistic enough path to be pretty scary, which is its biggest strength.

7. Oppenheimer; A-

Perhaps the hardest film for me to rank as I found the court room drama of Oppenheimer very engaging thanks to Christopher Nolan's direction and all-star cast. As usual, Nolan assembles a cast of incredible depth and starpower and they make a very talky film appealing. I was hoping for more actual atom bomb and three hours felt gratuitous, but it's a bounce back effort for Nolan after Tenet (D+ in 2020) and Dunkirk (C in 2017).

6. Stan Lee; A

A fun documentary about Stan The Man. There's tidbits of new information here, but it's all pretty much been told before in various forms of media, specifically 2010's With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story (A+).

5. Tetris; A

Of Kingsman fame, Taron Egerton is one of my favorites. Period. This may be personal bias, but I believe he is so very underrated despite his many many achievements in both film and television. He's on his A game once more in Tetris, a very fun ride about the history of the computer game with roots in corporate warfare as well as the actual Cold War.

4. Blackberry; A

Speaking of old tech, I never realized the story behind the Blackberry phone (which was my second cell phone after the Motorola Razr) was so... wow... incredible. Of course the iPhone gets the fame - and the movies, like Steve Jobs (A in 2015) - but Blackberry has its own remarkable history. Mix that with a stylish aesthetic and fantastic performances and you have one of my favorite films of the year. 

3. Talk to Me; A

I guess there can still be good scary movies. Outside of a not sticking the ending, Talk to Me has a cool plot, likable characters, and some genuinely terrifying moments. It walks the same ouija board-like path as so many scary movies before it but does it well and gives "talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening" a whole new meaning.

2. Air; A+

A+ scores are far rarer here at CGI Fridays than they used to be. I thought three in 2022 was rough, but 2023 provided just two A+ films. Air is another chapter in the lucrative Ben Affleck-Matt Damon duo, this time a raunchy, fun biopic about Nike and Phil Knight. Specifically, their quest to find a poster athlete before landing on "Air Jordan" himself. It's nice to know movies can still be made this well and be this entertaining.

1. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse; A+

I learned after watching Across the Spider-Verse that plans for a Gwen Stacy solo movie were morphed with the Miles Morales sequel. That makes sense as a lot of this film, including the entire open, is about Gwen. She's an interesting character in her own right and, no pun intended, crosses over naturally with Miles' coming-of-age adventure.

Their adventures together as well as another hit score from Daniel Pemberton and the brilliant comic book-y animations form a sum that, while not be as good as Into the Spider-Verse (A+ in 2018), is still a great time at the movies, something I can't say too often anymore and therefore do not take for granted. I hope Miguel O'Hara (voiced by the awesome Oscar Isaac) is better utilized in the sequel.

I also hope 2024 is better. We'll see, friends.

CGI Fridays Holiday Feature: A Boy Named Sue

Every December, you can feel the holiday spirit in the air. Even here in Arizona, where “winter wonderland” is just a cactus covered in sun, a middle school is a perfect way to gauge the collective holiday spirit.

At my school, Christmas spirit has been raging since before the calendar turned to December. There are decorations, costumes, Santa hats, ugly sweaters, treats aplenty and lots of dress-up days. We even had a “wear blue day” for Hanukkah and my plastic Menorah sits proudly on my classroom desk.

The environment closely resembles my first teaching job back in Texas. Each school’s PTA goes all-out in thanking the staff for raising their kids… err, I mean doing their job as educators.

Sandwiched between these two high-achieving schools planted in prosperous communities was my experience at a Title I school last year. The holiday season felt very different around those kids, even with the lure of a two week break from school on the horizon.

The thing is, those kids weren’t going on vacation over break. They might go to the mall. They’re not getting cool new clothes or a new iPhone for Christmas. Some won’t celebrate Christmas at all. Some don’t have a family to celebrate it with. There are no eight days of Hanukkah. There might be one night of joy, and that’s pushing it.

What troubles me most about this egregious difference in class, quality of life and imbalance of childhood is these kids are just that… kids. They have no say in the matter and didn’t choose the family they were born into. Many of the young boys and girls at my previous school don’t even live with their birth parents. Some don’t even know where they are. Some do, and that answer is worse than the unknown.

At the center of this personal conundrum, a specific boy comes to mind. For obvious reasons, I won’t be divulging his name. So, like the famous Johnny Cash song my dad used to play all the time in the car, he’s going to be a boy named Sue.

This boy lives with his grandmother. His mom is a drug addict living in Wisconsin. He wears a Packers jersey sometimes and occasionally speaks positively about his birth mother. Most of the time, he laments about how she only calls to ask for money, constantly relapses, and is a negative influence on his older brother who is out of the house and has joined mom up north.

He knows where his dad is. Sort of. He has an idea. He’s strung out somewhere in Phoenix.

Grandma is incredibly supportive and, despite the hurdles placed on this boy since before he even entered the world, he was one of my best students. In fact, he was often bored in class as so many students at this school required extreme attention for both academic and behavioral reasons.

When Christmas or any holiday or even just the weekend came around, Sue and many of the other students said something that surprised me. I was shocked to hear a middle school kid ever mutter these words.

“I don’t want to go home.”

Staying at school meant not being home. This boy had a grandmother who cared about him, but his home wasn’t teeming with space or fancy toys. Long weekends and holidays are loved the world over by all ages. It really woke me up to the life these kids live when they would rather stay at school than have time off.

The day before a break, I’m used to students bouncing off the walls, barely able to contain their excitement. For many at the underserved, ignored Title I school, the days before breaks were somber, tepid and nervous.

This holiday season -- scratch that, any given random Tuesday -- it’s never a bad time to appreciate what you have. I never did that enough. As I’ve gotten older, and especially after sharing my life with disadvantaged young people who have a stacked deck against them in a laughably uneven playing field, I do it every day.

Appreciate what you have, because some have never had it. Think not about what more you want, but what you've never needed. Be grateful for the things you never need to ask for, but are always there.

We don't choose the family we are born into. Some of us are more fortunate than others. Always keep that in mind and never lose perspective.

Have a Happy Holiday!

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