There are many reasons 2024 saw my CGI Fridays total drop quicker than Christian Bale's weight in The Machinist. Less movies to choose from, quicker streaming releases, rising ticket and concession prices, horrible movie crowds... it wasn't just one reason, but an amalgamation of many factors turning me off of a thing I once loved... the cinema.
I wrote about exactly this topic in April 2023, and just like so many things in our wonderful world, it's just gotten so much worse since then.
But hey, here's a positive! By being so choosy and seeing less movies in 2024, I saw less bad movies! See, I found a positive. Everyone quit telling me I'm so negative!
Anyway, let's recap the shortest list I've ever had.
28. Spaceman; F
Adam Sandler movies hold a special place in my heart, and "Spaceman" is one of my favorite songs ever, but this movie is just a waste of time space.
27. Argylle; D-
Dear Matthew Vaughn, when can we expect Kingsman 3? Argylle is full of good actors and great ideas, but the final product is a joke, and not in a funny way.
26. Elevation; D
I avoided movies this year that looked like nothing burgers, but because of Anthony Mackie and director George Nolfi's partnership that produced The Adjustment Bureau (#481 on the Infinity List) and The Banker (A in 2020), I gave it a shot. And guess what was on the burger? Nothing.
25. Society of the Snow; D+
I wanted to like this movie because the acting is great and director J.A. Bayona previously dramatized a natural disaster so well with The Impossible (A+ in 2012), but it's too boring. More like Society of the Slow, am I right? Okay that's not funny.
24. Dune: Part Two; C-
The Dune movies are obviously cinematic beauties. You'd expect nothing less from director Denis Vellenueve. I gave the first movie a B, but I found the second slow, underwhelming, full of questionable character motivations, and didn't buy the ending. But my friend Brian watched it twice on back-to-back days, so which one of us is wrong?
23. A Quiet Place: Day One; C
The latest example of a franchise pooping out a prequel and this one doesn't compare to the flagship films -- A+ in 2018 in and A in 2021 -- and the most unbelievable part of this zombie apocalypse movie is a quiet cat. Meow.
22. Kraven The Hunter; C+
I have to admit, I had some guilty fun with Kraven. Surely benefiting from low-to-no expectations, I didn't think this was as bad as, say, Venom: Let There Be Carnage (D+ in 2021) or Morbius (D in 2022). Still, it was enough to shut Sony's Spider-Man-Adjacent-Villain-Universe-That-Can't-Use-Or-Even-Say-The-Name-Of-Spider-Man down for good.
21. Oddity; B-
Scary movies dominated my 2024 list and I'm not sure that's a good thing. But is it a bad thing? There's a scary thought. Oddity... which one was that again... oh yeah, it was decent.
20. Immaculate; B-
You want me to admit I watched this for Sydney Sweeney? Because I won't. I watched it for the compelling mystery, production design, lighting and soundtrack.
19. The Bikeriders; B-
Not a spin-off of this line from Captain America: Civil War and not really my type of movie, but Tom Hardy Tom Hardy's his butt off.
18. Rebel Ridge; B
The movie with "Rebel" in the title that I was willing to see. Definitely not this one.
17. Am I Racist?; B
A mockumentary about DEI that sometimes drifts a bit too far into the right lane, it's still a bunch of good laughs and it's gotten very hard to find good comedy the last several years.
16. Alien: Romulus; B
Back to the roots of the franchise with a simple story and a lot of atmosphere, the scares are aplenty, most of the cast is solid, and the aliens deliver.
15. Carry-On; B
A by-the-numbers, 80s/90s nostalgia hit that isn't afraid of ripping off movies like Die Hard (#294 all-time) orThe Negotiator (#514) and is fittingly carried by the likable performance of Taron Egerton.
14. Challengers; B
The tennis scenes are a highlight, shot with dramatic and exciting precision. However, the movie made headlines for... other reasons.
13. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes; B+
A franchise full of near-and-dear A+'s, I wasn't as enthusiastic about Kingdom as I was the originals or the 2010s trilogy. (The Tim Burton one doesn't count.) The story isn't very strong and the future doesn't seem to properly reflect what Caesar worked so hard for. I suppose "humans ruined everything" is an appropriate theme, but I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed by the narrative groundwork laid down by the previous films.
The effects work from WETA is still top notch and the photorealism of the apes has never looked better -- and it's always looked incredible. It's another technological jewel in the franchise, but doesn't come close to its predecessors with story.
12. Smile 2; B+
An ending that will either excite you for Smile 3 or pull you out of enjoying Smile 2, I think it's possible it accomplished both. Just like its happy predecessor (A in 2022), the ending is suspect, but the leading performance of Naomi Scott makes the sequel worth smiling for.
11. The Wild Robot; A-
It's been a while since an animated movie came along and charmed its audience. The Wild Robot is that movie and I highly recommend it, especially for kids who are growing up in a world without a lot of good stuff to see.
10. One Life; A-
A little-known movie about little-known Holocaust hero Nicholas Winton, who smuggled thousands of children out of Nazi-occupied Europe when much of the world (and their governments) did nothing until it was too late.
9. Juror #2; A-
As far as enjoyment, Juror #2 would be higher if it wasn't a logistical nightmare. I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on TV, but I smelled a mistrial quicker than my niece's dirty diaper.
8. The Fall Guy; A-
I don't see how movie theaters can survive if movies like The Fall Guy can't even hit $100 million in the U.S. It's a fun ride for all types of audiences... that aren't showing up.
7. Heretic; A-
I'm naturally skeptical when it comes to religion and Heretic is an intelligent take on such a sensitive subject. It's a horror movie so things get rather unholy, but Hugh Grant's heel turn as a duplicitous lead is divine.
6. Late Night With the Devil; A-
It was rewarding to see perennial side character David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight, Ant-Man 1 & 2) in a leading role. He soaks up the screen as a desperate talk show host who turns to the dark arts to save his failing late night show.
5. Strange Darling; A
I totally dug the way Strange Darling told its story in non-sequential chapters. It preserves the twist and the movie thrives off its intimate cast and beautiful cinematography.
4. The Substance; A
The dual leading performances from Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley both deserve recognition. The message that Hollywood devalues aging stars is told in such a clear, creative, dramatic and entertaining way. The only reason it's not an A+ is the ending, or maybe I'm just bummed it ended.
3. Speak No Evil (2024); A
A remake of a Norwegian film made all the way back in... 2022 (A-)... I think the American Speak No Evil is a bit of an upgrade. It's a step up in terms of acting and production value, but not written as well as the foreign version. The international ending is better, but the American rendition has one big advantage: James McAvoy.
2. Deadpool & Wolverine; A
When I heard Hugh Jackman (arguably my favorite actor) was coming back to play Wolverine, I was surprisingly okay with it IF IT DOESN'T TOUCH LOGAN'S ENDING. They said they wouldn't, and like a fool I believed them. The movie even jokes about how difficult it would have been for Deadpool to leave that alone as he desecrates Logan's grave. Still, I was completely on board and so glad to be living through an MCU hit in 2024... and then the TVA showed up.
The TVA represent what went wrong with the MCU: the multi-verse. Deadpool & Wolverine wants to hate on the multi-verse, yet -- and probably at Disney's request -- the plot of the film revolves around everything the film wants to make fun of. It's fitting that a Deadpool film became of a parody of a parody in a parody about a franchise that's become a parody.
When it's Jackman and Ryan Reynolds, it works. Simple as that. When a plot that throws words around like "Anchor Beings" and "Nexus Events" tries to get off the ground, it doesn't. Think about it for more than a minute and it falls apart. As ridiculous as Deadpool 1 & 2 were, they were coherent from a storytelling perspective. This one isn't, but it has a Wolverine. (And a Hulk.)
Focus on the characters, the cameos, the nostalgia for the Fox Marvel Universe of all things, and it's an undeniably joyous time.
1. Green Day: 20 Years of American Idiot; A+
Green Day is no stranger to documentaries, with hits like Bullet in a Bible and Heart Like a Hand Grenade, and it was no surprise to see a commemorative film celebrating 20 years of the greatest album in music history. (*Opinion alert!*)
It's another fun look into the decorated history of the band and it's biggest strength is some new footage related to American Idiot. However, it's a lot of stuff that's been seen before and the inclusion of a new interview adds very little to the overall product.
Despite not reaching the highs of previous Green Day documentaries, the mix of all-time hits and some new looks behind the curtain add up to the one and only A+ movie of 2024.
