Website analytics show most readers skip past the introduction and get straight to the point. I do it, you do it, your parents used to to not do it but are doing it now.
Journalism is a barren wasteland full of repetitive, pointless buzzwords and that's why I'm not going to waste too much time writing this introd
The following is the Top 50 of my CGI Fridays Infinity List - my all-time movie rankings - and I'll be identifying two of my favorite truths about each film, but also something I would have chang
Without wasting any more of your time, lettuce begi
*please forgive any formatting nonsense - this is Blogger not the Arizona Republic*
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| How it started... |
1, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Truth: The Duel on Mustafar is everything
Truth: The impending sense of doom and rise of the Empire is oddly satisfying
Why isn't it longer? (I know I want more, but I shouldn't.)
There was a time when directors were cognizant of the two and a half hour mark. I appreciate that in film, but Revenge of the Sith could and should have been at least three hours.
2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Truth: Chris Evans solidifies his place next to RDJ in the MCU
Truth: Spy thriller + super hero blockbuster + action movie = yes
Why does everyone have actual plot armor?
Hard to find a flaw with my favorite superhero movie of all time, but multiple characters take pretty serious bullet wounds and turn out alright.
3. Spider-Man 2
Truth: The most successful telling of a hero's journey
Truth: Almost 20 years later, the train sequence still amazes even my students (who were born years after the movie even came out)
Why does Peter say "There are bigger things happening here than me and you" to Harry?
After the misunderstanding of a lifetime, he could have given him something better than that. Something! Anything!
4. Captain America: Civil War
Truth: There are no winners in this war; Steve and Tony both have good reason for what they're doing
Truth: Airport fight was the most impressive assembly until 2019
Why did Rhodey live?
Okay, that sounds barbaric, but they should have killed someone off and the clear answer given the circumstances, unfortunately, was Rhodey.
5. The Dark Knight
Truth: Joker is the best villain performance of all time
Truth: Hans Zimmer's soundtrack (like all his work) is iconic
Why did Christian Bale go so hard with the Bat-voice?
A small, insignificant complaint but someone get this (Bat)man a lozenge.
6. Avengers: Infinity War
Truth: The best alien villain performance of all time (was anybody else rooting for Thanos?)
Truth: A decades worth of characters and stories culminating in an historical epic for the ages
Why does Nebula tell Peter Thanos (probably) killed Gamora?
Keep it to yourself! Read the room...err...planet!
7. Spider-Man
Truth: The origin story of superhero and supervillain origin stories
Truth: The emotion - but also the brutality - of the climax is something you don't see often in superhero films
Why make it so obvious?
Hiding Peter's new powers is something Spider-Man films have always struggled with for dramatic effect, from the fight with Flash (Tobey) to the basketball scene (Andrew) to Peter's disappearing act in Europe (Tom).
8. Iron Man
Truth: The best casting decision in cinematic history
Truth: Pre-Disney Marvel tone was more mature and less jokey
Why don't the kidnappers in the cave realize Tony is misbehaving?
They should have figured out a lot (lot) sooner that he wasn't building them their weapon.
9. The Avengers
Truth: Marvel's plan to bring all these heroes together somehow worked - after never working before
Truth: Alan Silvestri's Avengers theme... nuff said
Why is Captain America wearing a onesie?
The Avengers is a masterpiece, but Cap's suit is not.
10. Guardians of the Galaxy
Truth: Awesome Mix revolutionized music in movies
Truth: Genuinely funny and even more fun
Why did Ronan fall prey to the dance-off?!
You know what, it works. Guardians was a perfect foil to the seriousness of The Avengers... although it inspired Disney to make everything sillier.
11. Kingsman: The Secret Service
Truth: The church scene. The ****** ****ing church scene.
Truth: A breath of fresh air in a Hollywood losing its creativity
Why were the Kingsman so easy to infiltrate?
Eggsy, Harry and Merlin formed the most surprising Big 3 of the 21st century.
12. Avengers: Endgame
Truth: An emotional, triumphant culmination of 21 movies
Truth: Where so many franchises don't get a proper sendoff, Endgame got to, well, end
Why is Thor fat?
Marvel did so many things right over the years but the gradual character destruction of Thor was not one of them. There are plenty of other impactful ways to write grief than giving up vegetables.
13. Batman Begins
Truth: The emphasis on an origin story builds character on screen and with your audience
Truth: Nailed the Batman reveal in the warehouse
Why did Batman kill (read: not save) Liam Neeson?
Batman won't kill, but "doesn't have to save" Ra's al Guhl? Chalk it up to a rookie Batman, but I'm surprised it was never spoke of again like Peter Parker tracking down his uncle's killer.
14. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
Truth: "No, I am your father." (sorry spoilers!)
Truth: The good guys don't always have to win
Why does Obi-Wan not remember Leia as their other hope?
The Star Wars Original Trilogy has some moments that are simply chalked up to "Lucas hadn't written the prequels yet," with a certain kiss being the least aged moment of the saga.
15. Captain America: The First Avenger
Truth: The MCU's true beginning and first superhero is a feel good film
Truth: When world-building was an artform done well
Why did Hydra write the names of the cities on the bombs?
Wouldn't there be some sort of targeting system, even in the 1940s?
16. Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Truth: Drugs are bad, murder is wrong, but good writing is good
Truth: The action (and music) somehow ramps up even more
Why were the Statesman so underutilized?
Probably saving them for the sequel, but here we are over six years later with nothing to show for it.
17. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Truth: Now THAT is podracing!
Truth: The Duel of the Fates (that is all)
Why is Jar-Jar Binks so annoying?
My issue isn't the character himself because the Gungans are a great concept, but why did George "The Maker" Lucas go so far with poor Jar-Jar?
18. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Truth: Making Electro pathetic made him a stronger, sadder villain
Truth: Following through and pulling no punches on Gwen's arc elevates this movie
Why did they set up the Sinister Six so hastily?
Of course, the answer is money. It's always money.
19. The Dark Knight Rises
Truth: Batman's return is just as cool as his introduction from Begins
Truth: Christopher Nolan nails the emotional sendoff
Why didn't Bane and Talia just blow up Gotham? At any moment?
Because the slow knife cuts the deepest... duh!
20. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
Truth: Luke's hero's journey gets a humble, innocent, endearing start
Truth: Darth Vader is the coolest character in cinematic history
Why didn't the Imperials shoot the escape pod?
Even during Imperial tax season, one laser can't possibly set the Empire at its peak too far behind.
21. Spider-Man 3
Truth: The heart of the previous entries remains
Truth: By bringing Peter down, Raimi's Spider-Man moments continue to hit hard
Why was Gwen Stacy in this movie?
I know what you're thinking. He's not going after Goth Tobey? Or the three villains? I actually think the movie's biggest issues stem from Gwen being shoehorned into an already jammed narrative. If you want to know more, you know where to find me.
22. Black Panther
Truth: A superhero adventure but also intelligent social commentary
Truth: Villains with something to say are the best villains
Why didn't T'Chaka take Erik home to Wakanda?
To the movie's credit, they address this question. But "to maintain the lie" makes the former King look like a coward. (So I guess like most Kings in history.)
23. Avengers: Age of Ultron
Truth: All the Avengers on screen again is worth every second
Truth: Ultron is super cool, but...
...Why doesn't he hack the internet or something?
Ultron is a fascinating villain and chews up every bit of screen, but his plan should have been more practical.
24. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Truth: Caesar is a GOAT protagonist
Truth: The depth of both the apes and humans are so well written
Why do some of the apes join Koba?
This is less a plot issue and more me screaming at the screen wondering why any ape would turn on Caesar.
25. John Wick
Truth: "Gun fu?" Yes, please.
Truth: The combat deserves praise, but the story has heart at its center
Why doesn't Viggo protect his son better?
Safe house? More like party house! He hangs him out to dry because he doesn't love him. Sad.
26. Ex Machina
Truth: Movie about artificial intelligence that is more intelligent than artificial
Truth: Three dynamic, magnetic performances from a tight cast
Why is the house so advanced in every way but security?
It takes a man to admit when he is nitpicking. This is a nitpick.
27. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Truth: The omnipresent compelling mystery of the Clone Wars keeps you guessing
Truth: Yoda-Dooku lightsaber duel (actually the whole final act)
Why are Anakin and Padme's love scenes so coarse and rough?
Like sand. I don't mind the love story and the actors aren't an issue for me. It's the wooden dialogue and emotionless performances. Without them, this is a top 20 movie.
28. Spider-Man: Homecoming
Truth: Bring Spidey firmly into the MCU? Mission accomplished
Truth: Tom Holland is the best Peter Parker yet
Why is Tony's security at Stark Tower nonexistent?
The climax of Homecoming is dependent on Tony and Happy's negligence. The cargo on that plane should have been guarded by a legion of Iron Men.
29. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Truth: Shows a smaller story can be just as rich in plot as a big one
Truth: The best Darth Vader scene in the saga, although...
...Why didn't Vader use the force to retrieve the Death Star plans?
Not a plot hole, but still a moment worth questioning.
30. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Truth: A prequel/reboot better than the classic original is worth celebrating
Truth: Takes its time with a slow build that develops character
Why is the laboratory staff so careless?
Surely nobody expects the worst (in this case a global catastrophe) but the medical staff is pretty loosey goosey with protocol.
31. Sicario
Truth: Tension built at peak levels
Truth: Incredible ensemble cast
Why do the Americans allow dangerous cartels to grow for personal benefit?
As if the U.S. government would do such a thing!
32. The Greatest Showman
Truth: Hugh Jackman is a tour de force
Truth: So many original hits in one soundtrack inspired sing-a-long bonus viewings
Why is there a love triangle?
*He asks to a society addicted to nonsense like The Bachelor*
33. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
Truth: Luke and Vader's father-son conflict (and their lightsaber rematch) reaches an emotional conclusion
Truth: The raid and rescue from Jabba's palace is fun, but...
...Why did the plan to save Han have 98 steps?
What if step 48 and 63 were to fail? What then?!
34. The Replacements
Truth: My favorite sports movie because it's more than sports
Truth: "At first I was afraid, **** I was petrified."
Why did the Sentinels bench Falco for Martel?
I assume Dan Snyder was also the owner of this fictitious Washington football team.
35. Sing Street
Truth: A great coming-of-age story even without the great music
Truth: Adam Levine has a song and it's also great
Why does the brother let him go at the end?
I know exactly why, I'm just saying the journey will be extremely treacherous! Perhaps even deadly!
36. Iron Man 3
Truth: While derisive of its predecessors, it has some of the most fun in the entire MCU
Truth: Final act is a blast
Why does Tony give the world his home address?
It's meant to demonstrate Tony's erratic behavior, sure, but come on.
37. Kick-Ass
Truth: Answers the eternal question of "could I be a superhero?" pretty accurately
Truth: Nicolas Cage is the perfect Big Daddy
Why does Hit-Girl cuss so much?
Manners, girl!
38. Doctor Strange
Truth: Benedict Cumberbatch is yet another spot-on MCU casting
Truth: Visual expectations met and surpassed
Why did the Beyonce joke make the final cut?
Humor isn't easy, but the MCU used to do it so, so well.
39. Tarzan (1999)
Truth: PHIL. COLLINS. SOUNDTRACK.
Truth: Heartwarming, emotional, poignant and genuine
Why did *NSYNC only have one song?
Best song on the soundtrack? "Son of Man?" "Strangers Like Me?" I'm gonna go with "You'll Be in My Heart."
40. District 9
Truth: Neil Blomkamp is a sci-fi genius
Truth: Sharlto Copley is fantastic yet tragic (fantastically tragic?)
Why are so many of the aliens kind of useless?
Okay, that's every alien movie.
41. Taken
Truth: Liam Neeson had always been a badass. Now everyone knows.
Truth: Taken is intense but it has brains and heart, unlike its sequels
Why couldn't Qui-Gon Jinn or Ra's al Guhl fight like Bryan Mills?
The Jedi Master and League of Shadows architect are lacking a particular set of skills.
42. Eddie the Eagle
Truth: Taron Egerton's + Hugh Jackman = Yes, please
Truth: As uplifting as a movie can get
Why wouldn't the Olympics take Eddie seriously?
Are you telling me a book was judged by its cover?! IN THIS SOCIETY?!
43. Thor
Truth: The scene where Thor gets his powers back is elite
Truth: Shakespearian Thor is the best Thor, even if it isn't the most popular
Why wouldn't Odin tell Loki the truth earlier?
That situation was handled very poorly... but being a father is hard, especially the All-Father.
44. War for the Planet of the Apes
Truth: Michael Giacchino's soundtrack is some of his best work in a catalogue of gems
Truth: You don't mess with the GOAT protagonist's family
Why did the Colonel/the traitor apes keep Caesar alive?
Plot armor for a protagonist is nothing new but there are a lot of reasons not to keep him alive.
45. You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Truth: My favorite Sandman movie (followed by The Longest Yard and Big Daddy)
Truth: It's Sandler's most hilariously Jewish movie
Why is this the best movie about Israeli-Palestinian conflict?
Sandler does a lot of schtick, but he actually has something to say here besides the bush.
46. John Wick: Chapter 2
Truth: Gun fu is back and better than ever!
Truth: Another pair of fun villains
Why does John kill on Continental grounds knowing full well the consequences?
Don't be silly... to spawn another movie or two or three or eight.
47. Boyhood
Truth: Richard Linklater making this movie over 12 years is a remarkable achievement in film
Truth: Kids are fun and growing up is sad
Why did they make another Star Wars movie?
Confused? Watch this scene, which takes place in 2008.
48. Iron Man 2
Truth: Robert Downey Jr. IS Iron Man
Truth: If you didn't like Iron Man 2, go watch it again and then let me know
Why does Tony keep his illness from Pepper?
Tony's ego may be big, but there's no reason for him to self-destruct after the lessons of the first movie..
49. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Truth: I believed in the reboot (at this point)
Truth: Kylo Wren had so much potential (at this point)
Why did they do the heroes of the original trilogy -- Luke, Han & Leia -- so dirty?
Han is a deadbeat dad, lost the Millennium Falcon and isn't with Leia, who is a toothless politician, and Luke... I have nothing to say that hasn't been said.
50. 42
Truth: Chadwick Boseman can do it all, from Jackie Robinson to James Brown to Thurgood Marshall to Black Panther
Truth: Along with The Replacements, is my favorite sports movie of all time, followed by Like Mike and The Longest Yard (2005)
Why did racism and segregation exist?
Seriously... give me one good reason. Society's biggest sin continues to plague us today.
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