Oh boy. 2020. Nothing more really needs to be said.
Insignificant compared to the lives lost and the millions hurting due to the Covid-19 pandemic, one of the biggest hits to the economy last year was the movie theater.
The cinemaplex, as nobody has ever called it since it's not a word, was hit hard. An industry already hurting before the pandemic, theaters across the world watched as blockbuster film after tentpole release delayed their release, and remaining others took their talents to one of the countless streaming services all your kids pay for.
Going to the movies is my favorite hobby. I miss it terribly. But I need two scoops of the 'ol vaccine before I feel comfortable going back. There was a lot of waiting around for movies to hit home release/streaming, and in a fitting twist of 2020's cruelty, hardly any were worth waiting for.
50. Dolittle; F
On the heels of his legendary run as Tony Stark/Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr.'s first post-MCU project was Doolittle. Both Eddie Murphy Dr. Dolittle's are held in personal high regard, currently ranked at #244 and #485 on my Infinity List. RDJ's take on the character underwent massive reshoots, and I honestly have no idea what existed before the cringe final product.
49. The New Mutants; F
Speaking of reshoots, The New Mutants was delayed, delayed again, sold off as part of Fox's bailout to Disney, delayed a few more times, changed from rated R to PG-13, and then finally released. My momentary excitement to see X-Men deep cuts like Magik and Sunspot evaporated quickly. It's absolutely terrible.
48. Superman: Man of Tomorrow; F
The movie ends with a poop joke.
47. Underwater; D-
I know there are a lot of Kristen Stewart haters, but I really, really like her. Especially in Adventureland. (Which is currently #573 on the Infinity List.) Underwater advertised itself as a claustrophobic horror movie 20,000 leagues under the sea. It's very boring and T.J. Miller only works in small doses a la Deadpool sidekick.
46. The Old Guard; D-
Based on a comic book about immortal soldiers, the story here is not what I had hoped. Perhaps it was motivated by budget, but the plot has nothing to do with who the soldiers are and how they became immortal. Instead, it's a contemporary "thriller" with a carbon copy baddie and a bunch of nonsense.
45. Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn; D-
My expectations were predictably mild after Harley Quinn's debut in Suicide Squad. Some say Margot Robbie's performance in the 2016 disappointment (D-) was a bright spot of the film - and a Halloween costume victory for preteens the world over.
Like Jared Leto's Joker, the portrayal felt obnoxiously over-the-top, lacking the charming subtlety of Tara Strong's version from Batman: The Animated Series and the Batman: Arkham video game franchise.
Anyway, Birds of Prey and its appropriately exaggerated title... I expected bad and I got it. A connected universe doesn't work if your universe doesn't work.
44. Extracurricular; D
The very first movie I saw in 2020 was a bad omen for what was to come. The ingredients were as follows: A creative concept, an intriguing open, and a boring, mindless remainder.
43. Wonder Woman 1984; D
One of the only blockbuster films to survive 2020, sorta-kinda through HBO Max, Wonder Woman 1984 is so incompetent that you want to blame the story and effects on the pandemic. Except you can't.
WW84 was in post-production when the shutdown happened. So whatever this movie thought it was already existed before the pandemic. The spark and fun of the first film (A in 2017) is thrown aside for a whole mix of parts that certainly don't equal a sum.
Gal Gadot isn't good in it, Chris Pine shouldn't have been in it, Pedro Pascal and Kristen Wiig are in it at the expense of each other, and the plot revolves around a wishing stone, which would hardly pass for storytelling in the corny 1960s comic book "Golden Age."
42. Antebellum; D+
Continuing the theme of "good premise, bad execution," Antebellum is incredibly interesting on paper. Movies this bad are frustrating because the script deserved better.
41. One Night in Miami; D+
One Night in Miami is a well-produced, well-acted film. The actors do an admirable job filling the storybook shoes of Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke. But like Fences (D- in 2017), it's a play-turned-film and I don't like plays. It's way too slow.
40. Tenet; D+
For all of Christopher Nolan's greatness -and he is unquestionably one of the most influential filmmakers of all time- I have not been on board with his last two outings. Dunkirk (C in 2017) was a chore to get through, and in different ways so became Tenet.
Nolan delivers his usual tricks, bending time, reality, IMAX cameras, and viewer comprehension to his creative desires. Tenet is so darn confusing that it relies on the audience to fill in the gaps with fan theories.
The problem is, unlike Nolan's Memento (A+), The Prestige (A), Inception (A+), or Interstellar (A in 2014), I had no interest in trying to figure out what happened.
39. Greyhound; D+
Tom Hanks saw two movies hit the big screen in 2020, and both underwhelmed me to great lengths. Greyhound and News of the World are very similar. They are well done, with impressive cinematography and the usual brilliance from Hanks. But, they are both without much of a narrative and a movie without a plot grinds my gears.
38. Another Round; D+
Director Thomas Vinterberg's Jagten aka The Hunt (A+ in 2012) will absolutely rattle your bones, and Another Round made waves at the Oscars, but I never got invested in this story about alcohol and mid-life crisis, even if it came with a repeat performance from the spectacular Mads Mikkelsen.
37. VFW; C-
The idea of the very strong and very scary Stephen Lang going crazy brought back fond Don't Breathe (A+, 2016) memories, even if VFW's grindhouse horror isn't my genre. The attempt at political subtext, nor the gothic production design piqued my interest.
36. Unhinged; C-
Speaking of political subtext, Unhinged wants you to feel bad for Russell Crowe because, well, he's looked better. You feel bad at first, but this movie would have worked better had they made Crowe's character more man and less beast.
35. News of the World; C-
Back in the day, traveling from town to town reading the news must have taken a while. So did watching this movie, even if Hanks and young actress Helena Zengel have chemistry.
34. Honest Thief; C
You keep putting Liam Neeson in B-movies, I keep watching. Next up in 2021: The Marksman. Is it going to be good? Eh. Am I going to watch it? Obviously.
33. Mank; C
Even if my interest in a black-and-white biopic about the Citizen Kane writer was limited, anything directed by David Fincher finds its way to my playlist. Gary Oldman is incredible.
32. 1BR; C
The first half of 1BR has the makings of a great horror film. The second half of 1BR is what most horror films end up being.
31. Downhill; C
Will Ferrell's dark comedy film is okay at the very best. If you want Ferrell and dark comedy, Everything Must Go is your ticket. (#413 on Infinity.)
30. Batman: Death in the Family; C+
I was excited to hear they were adapting the famous comic that -due to a fan vote of all things!- killed off Robin. Well they didn't. It's a series of short films, led by the false promise of the title, which is just a recap of Batman: Under the Red Hood (A+).
29. Vivarium; C+
Vivarium is trippy and clever and fascinating for so long, and then the ending eliminates all that came before and an A movie drops below the B scale with head-scratching frustration.
28. Mulan; C+
Another rare big budget film that decided to release via streaming in 2020, the Mulan remake was mired in more bad press than good, and the movie follows suit. It's not terrible, but the story has been changed for the worse and the action is full of quick cuts and bad CGI.
27. Greenland; C+
A disaster movie in the middle of a disaster - albeit a lesser one than armageddon. Gerard Butler is always great and the visuals that Greenland presents are extremely impressive. But like many end-of-the-world movies, there's a big focus on family. And the families are kind of annoying.
26. Impractical Jokers: The Movie; B-
Just like my take on the show, the gags are great in Impractical Joker. The guys are pretty annoying (or that's just me) and I have no idea what the Paula Abdul angle is. But like I said, the gags are good.
25. Extraction; B-
Hall of Fame tag team Joe and Anthony Russo (you know, from this stuff) are off to a decent start with their AGBO production studio. 21 Bridges (B+ in 2019) was good. The Russo's collaborating stuntman Sam Hargrave gets the director's chair for Extraction, and the stunt work/fighting choreography is absolutely insane.
It might actually be too good. Because there are fight scenes that go on, and on, and on. Especially in the film's climax, which features an unnecessary cliffhanger. No sequel, please.
24. Promising Young Woman; B-
An alarming, honest take on the dating scene's darkest nights, specifically in college and in early adulthood, Promising Young Woman holds nothing back to tell its message. At times it gets a little too crazy, but the strength of the message is not lost.
23. Palm Springs; B-
A lot of 2020 films felt eerily similar in structure. Palm Springs draws comparison to Vivarium. It's good, it's fun, and you're eagerly waiting for the payoff. But that payoff isn't there, even if I enjoyed the heck out of Andy Samberg all the way through.
22. Superman: Red Son; B-
Based on one of my favorite comics, Mark Millar's graphic novel of the same name, Superman: Red Son is the story of baby Kal-El landing in Russia rather than Smallville. The transition to the small screen -and the accompanying short runtime that all DC animated films follow- restricts the story and its amazing potential.
Everything from the novel is crammed into about 80 minutes, including some changes to try and soothe the transition. It all moves so fast that the film doesn't do the book justice (...league?).
21. Invisible Man; B
A combination of me becoming old and cranky and the plethora of films delayed causes 2020 to currently hold just 21 positive reviews. That is a B and up. The previous low was 32 in 2012. Anywhosles...
When someone asks, "If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?" so many pick invisibility. Personally, I'll take flight but this isn't about me*. There are scenes in Invisible Man that make your draw drop with the frightening possibilities that invisibility could bring, but the story doesn't.
*It kind of is, though.
20. Babyteeth; B
Do I like Australian films because they tend to be indy darlings? Or because I'm obsessed with the isolated paradise that Australians live in? Is it too much to ask for both?
Babyteeth goes after heavy themes and, with the aid of a great cast that includes personal fav Ben Mendelsohn, it hits them and hits them hard.
19. The Last Full Measure; B
On the topic of personal fav's, Sebastian Stan takes center stage in a true story, a feel-good story, about veteran recognition. As if recognizing veterans should be such an achievement, but it's no secret how this world treats those who have fought for us.
A star-studded cast anchored by Hollywood icons Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Plummer, William Hurt, and Ed Harris elevates a lesser script to a higher level.
18. Disneynature's Elephant; B
It's narrated with full cheese by Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex (which sounds like the boss of a watch company), but as someone who collected toy elephants as a kid, I couldn't resist a favorable score.
17. The Way Back; B+
A project close to the heart of Ben Affleck, who has publicly battled many demons in his adult life, The Way Back is a sports redemption story you've seen a million times. But quality is quality, with Affleck's performance overcompensating for the lackluster basketball scenes.
16. An American Pickle; B+
Many comedy actors do not get credit for being so much more than a funnyman. Seth Rogen is one of those people, and his creative (pickle) juices are on full display in a perfectly wacky film. Rogen plays himself from the 20th and 21st century, and the subtle commentary on religion and Judaism were done particularly well and with heart.
15. Sea Fever; B+
Where Underwater was dull and slow and given a D-, the lesser-known Sea Fever is exciting, scary, and gets a well-deserved B+. Pacing isn't the best friend of a movie set in basically one setting, but there are awesome, stomach-churning practical effects on display that pay homage to movies like The Fly (#662 on Infinity) and The Thing (#669).
14. The Hunt; B+
Delayed out of 2019 for several different rumored controversies, some political and some to do with violence, The Hunt is indeed very political and very violent. Luckily, I'm neither and I watched the movie for what it is: A movie. It's crazy, very crazy, and Betty Gilpin literally and figuratively kills it.
13. Hubie Halloween; A-
In 2015 and 2017, I had 26 movies that graded A- or higher. That score is precisely the criteria for the Infinity List. Done no favors by the numerous pandemic postponements, 2020's number is a paltry and easily record-low 13. So what made the vaunted list?
Adam Sandler's Netflix deal bore fruit last time out in the form of Murder Mystery (A+ in 2019), and while Hubie Halloween isn't A+ quality for yours truly, it's cute, it's funny, it's cheeky, and it's full-blown Adam Sandler. I like it.
12. Onward; A-
The themes in Pixar films come at you early and often, and Onward is no exception. However, the voice acting work of Chris Pratt and Tom Holland is good as advertised and you can tell a brotherly bond was forged on the set of those little Avengers movies.
Aside from the cast, the world-building is the movie's strength. Contemporary America combined with the far-gone and possibly fictional times of wizards, elves, ghouls, and goblins is a fun idea and the production takes advantage.
11. Come Play; A-
Another thing the shutdown took away from us was the (hopefully now) underappreciated value of togetherness. Not that I take it for granted, but watching scary movies isn't the same alone as it is with friends.
Come Play uses the familiar "impaired child" trope in a scary movie, but if the kid is cute enough, it really doesn't matter. Plus, you can't lose with John Gallagher Jr. Where the film might lose some steam, it makes up for it with genuine scares, something that is getting harder and harder to find in movies.
10. Bill and Ted Face the Music; A-
It is the age of sequels and not even the Bill and Ted franchise is safe. 29 whopping years after Bill and Ted had both a most excellent adventure and totally bogus journey, they now have to face the music in a cleverly-titled trilogy capper.
It's still funny, with Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, and William Sadler all returning in most awesome form. The story focusing on their daughters was a nice touch and it's all well done, it's just not as consistently hilarious or fresh as its predecessors - ranked at #207 and #230 on the Infinity.
9. Let Him Go; A
Building tension is an underrated quality in a film. Drama and stakes often come from events or story, but in Let Him Go, the emotion is born out of performances. The entire cast shows up to play, but Kevin Costner and Diane Lane co-lead this thing on an uncomfortable, thought-provoking journey to recover what little is left of their family.
8. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; A
It looked silly, even by Will Ferrell standards. It came without much fanfare, which is usually a death sentence for comedies. But, with Ferrell teaming up with the talented Rachel McAdams, I had hope. And my hope was more than rewarded.
ESC: TSoFS's only weakness is that few comedies can withstand a two-plus hour runtime. But it is belly laugh funny, and 2020, for all of its horrors, ended up being a very strong year in this genre.
It's clever, it's cute, the accents are amazing, it's accurate as heck, and you can feel the creative passion in every scene. The music also scores (get it?), while the underrated Ferrell proves once again that he's more than just a funnyman.
7. Boys State; A
Politics has never been and still isn't in my top 1 millions things to talk about. But as you get older, it inevitably becomes part of your world. Especially in these times. The irony is that Boys State is a political movie all about kids.
A story about the real-life "government camp" in Texas for young men, it's no fun and no games but oh so very entertaining. And sad. It's a documentary, although it feels fabricated at times, because things play out in storybook fashion.
That story being a tragedy. Or perhaps it's all true. Which is even more tragic. Then again, the world is pretty sad and tragic.
6. The Trial of the Chicago 7; A
Speaking of fabricated events, one of my trusted movie friends (who also happens to practice law) says that The Trial of the Chicago 7 took some storytelling liberties. That's unfortunate for a true story, especially in a time when truth has gone from a necessity to a luxury. Still, there's no denying the cinematic efficiency on hand.
Originally a Steven Spielberg project and in production "H-E double hockey sticks" for over a decade, writer-director Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network (A+), Steve Jobs (A in 2015) applies his fast-paced, energetic dialogue to a courtroom drama that benefits greatly from this tempo.
A timely tale about peaceful protests, police brutality, and incompetent judges, the facts may get muddied a bit, but the message remains the same. The film also has an an all-star cast that features Sacha Baron Cohen flexing his dramatic acting muscles in Oscar-worthy fashion. (The Oscars this year are going to be interesting...)
5. The Banker; A
A hidden gem on the cheapest streaming service, Apple TV+, The Banker swims in the familiar waters of racial injustice, but the Earth is 95 percent water after all. Two of the finest Black actors step effortlessly into historical roles, with Samuel L. Jackson and Anthony Mackie playing off each other in perfect harmony.
The movie is honest, true, and it hurts. Racism will never not hurt, and I maintain that movies are the most valuable medium to receive these messages. It's powerful, and Mackie's character gives a gut-wrenching monologue in the film's climax that perfectly sums up one of humanity's biggest failures.
Aside from the important subject, The Banker manages to make real estate interesting, golf funny, and racial tension heartwarming.
4. The Devil All the Time; A
You look at the cast of a movie like The Devil All the Time, and you almost feel desensitized by the sheer amount of stardom. How can they possibly fit all these names in one production? Well, the movie is told through multiple perspectives, spreading the star power around in small doses.
We spend most of our time with Tom Holland, but Bill Skarsgård, Robert Pattinson, Sebastian Stan, Haley Bennett, and Jason Clarke all get their time in the sun.
As evidenced by the title, this is not a happy film. It is truly the devil all the time. It's a movie that fearlessly tackles the worst of humanity in many of its characters, culminating in an ending that won't have you leaving with anything but a pit in your stomach.
But that's the point. And I don't always like happy endings.
3. Project Power; A+
Ten A+ ratings in 2019 was an all-time CGI Fridays low, following up a then-low 12 in 2018. So...are movies getting worse? Or am I becoming a grouch? Obviously the pandemic robbed us of many movies, and I would have gone into films like Black Widow, A Quiet Place Part II, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, and many more projecting an A+.
Just three movies managed an A+, one of those being the Jamie Foxx-led Project Power.
The Netflix film is the superhero movie you may not have heard about. The premise is rather conventional: a pill is giving people in the city superpowers, this time a beautifully rendered New Orleans, at a dangerous cost.
While you may have read this story before, the cast is great, with Foxx bouncing off young actress Dominique Fishback well, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt rocking a Steve Gleason Saints jersey. The CGI is as impressive as I've seen in a streaming movie, and the film thrives on the shoulders of the dynamic Foxx.
2. Bad Trip; A+
I admit - my sense of humor can be downright juvenile. My type of humor is Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell, Family Guy, American Dad!, and Archer. So, in a year of little action at the top, two raunchy comedies took home silver and gold in the 2020 CGI Fridays ranks.
At number two - oh yeah, I love Austin Powers, "two" - comes from the brilliant but filthy mind of Eric Andre. It's a road trip comedy, with Andre pulling his signature pranks and gags along the way.
It's absolutely hilarious, terribly inappropriate, and unexpectedly touching. Just like the man to follow in this year's number one spot, I have no idea how in the world Andre and his team pull off some of these stunts.
1. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm; A+
And when it comes to staging the unthinkable, unpredictable, unimaginable, and often incomprehensible, nobody does it better than Sasha Baron Cohen.
He is the "Father" of the mockumentary and returns to the beloved role of Borat 14 years after the original (#186 on Infinity) because the world is still crazy and needs Borat.
In a world and culture that has gotten excessively censored, Borat comes back to fart on your preconceived notions. The original had the element of surprise and the value of being unknown, and Cohen says he even polled extras this time around to make sure they hadn't heard of his infamous character.
Things in this movie are impossible to explain. How in the world did he get into the Mike Pence rally? Are those QAnon guys real people? Did Cohen and co-star Maria Bakalova really go there at the father-daughter dance? And how in the world did that Rudy Giuliani fiasco happen?!
All this and more is somehow achieved through Cohen's genius, boldness, security team, and NDA's. It's all an incredible accomplishment because these things just should not happen. But Cohen has made a career of "going there" for our entertainment.
So, for a year that provided no perfect "100/100" score - a first in CGI Fridays history - at least we had some laughs. Oh boy, were they needed.
